Friday Night Hilu-hilo

No I wasn't drunk! I only had one bottle and half of Gemz' drink plus a sip of frozen margarita. But I think my alcohol tolerance is really super low. Got a little tipsy after two glasses so I tried to release the 'tama' by making everything so funny. I laughed out loud and told my stories nonstop. Buwahahaha.

After one bucket of Sanmig Lights and bunch meal (sisig, sinigang, barbecue, fried noodles), they said we're going home. I didn't want to yet because it was only 9.30. But the worried-about-hold-ups-during-payday girl Agnes and sleepy bitter Gemz were on a rush. Hayy. Ok. I think I should go home anyway---I could barely stand straight from my seat. Mark (Gracie's husband-to-be) couldn't help but laugh and instructed Gracie to walk with me. Hihihi.

Oh well. Night life is what I've been missing this past few months.

So we went home. Ooops, but I still rode the jeep to Blumentrit so Agnes wouldn't go home alone. I realized that I am also missing Taft--Vito Cruz, Pedro Gil, and Lawton--the Post Office, the FX terminal.

My Savage Heart

Crash and Burn by
Savage Garden

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On Getting Hitched

The secret of a good marriage:

INWARD, OUTWARD, UPWARD love.

INWARD--Love yourself. Eat on time. Sleep enough. In other words, take care of yourself. But loving yourself is not the same as being selfish.

OUTWARD--Love others as you love yourself. Take care of other people. "Awayin mo na'ng lahat, 'wag lang ang biyenan mo. Ipagluto mo siya, dalhan mo ng pasalubong, katulad ng pagmamahal mo sa iyong asawa. Mahalin mo siya nang todo, makikita mo, mamahalin ka rin niya ng buung-buo."

UPWARD--Let your love be under the grace of God. If you don't love God, then your love for yourself and for others are meaningless.

A forwarded text message says:

GOD: "No man can ever claim you unless he claims you from me. I reserved a man for you who has my heart and loves me even more than he will love you. I won't give unless he asks you from me. Soon you will know him, I have the perfect time. You're my PRINCESS, my daughter. Let no prince claim you unless he asks you from my hand. For I am your Father, the KING of kings."

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Shutdown

Strike three;

Foul out;

Failing mark;

Resignation;

Flush out;

Overflow;

Loss;

Grievance;

Burning;

Confusion;

Crossroad;

Life;

Death;

Moving on;

Retake;

Absolute;

Absence;

Tragedy;

Troubleshoot;

Shoot out;

Corruption;

Pain;

Happiness;

Explosion;

Slope;

Signing Off.

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Sunday Blues

Every Little Thing - Dishwalla

Let me in
to see you in the morning light
to get me on and all along the tears they come
see all come
I want you to believe in life
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
all the time,
some times
lift me up
just lift me up don't make a sound
and let me hold you up before you hit the ground
see all come
you say your all right
but I get the strangest feeling
that you've gone away- you've gone away
and will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
all the time some times
Don't give me up
don't give me up tonight
or soon nothing will be right at all
salvation will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted

Try It On My Own - Whitney Houston

I'm wiser now
I'm not the foolish girl you used to know
So long ago
I'm stronger now
I've learned from my mistakes which way to go
And I should know
I put myself aside to do it your way
But now I need to do it all alone
And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'll keep it real you know
Time for me to do it on my own
Yeah yeah, mmm, yeah yeah
It's over now
I can't go back to living through your eyes
Too many lies
And if you don't know by now
I can't go back to being someone else
Not anymore
I never had a chance to do things my way
So now it's time for me to take control
And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what Im gonna keep it real you know
Time for me to do it
Oh I start again go back to one
I'm running things my way
Can't stop me now, I've just begun
Don't even think about it
There ain't no way about it
I'm taking names, the ones of mine
Yes I'm gonna take my turn
It's time for me to finally stand alone, stand alone
I am not afraid to try it on my own
And I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'm gonna keep it real you know
It's time for me to do it
See I'm not afraid

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

I don't wanna lose you,
I don't wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door
But there''s a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Now I could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
And there's no way home
When it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where I used to lay
And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.

Light and Shade - Fra Lippo Lippi

He will paint the light and shades
The colours and the trees
He will climb the steepest hill
Believing what he sees
He will lay down on the ground
Beneath the old oak tree
He will sleep foreverIf you try to set him free
Sail on the wings of a cloud
Where to, well nobody knows
And cry, cry if you want them to see
Die every day to be free
Be proud to wear the colours that you call your own
Be loud, speak out when you want the world to know
Be strong, hold the flame for everyone to see
Be weak, if you want to love.
He will paint the endless sea.
A mystery to me
He will reach out for the sun,
Not dreaming what he sees
He will fall down on his knees
Angel touching ground
Takes him to the other side
Sweet love is coming down.
Sail on the wings of a cloud
Where to, well nobody knows
And cry, cry if you want them to see
Die every day to be free
Be proud to wear the colours that you call your own
Be loud, speak out when you want the world to know
Be strong, hold the flame for everyone to see
Be weak, if you want to love.

Dreaming at Dencio's Part II

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I'm staring out into the night,
trying to hide the pain
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain

Well, I'm going home
back to the place where I belong
where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from,
no, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home
Well I'm going home

The miles are getting longer, it seems
The closer I get to you
And I've not always been the best man and friend for you
But your love it makes true
and I don't know why
You always seem to give me another try

So I'm going home
back to the place where I belong
where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from,
no, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old

Be careful what you wish for
'cause you just might get it all
you just might get it all
and then some you don't want
be careful what you wish for
'cause you just might get it all
You just might get it all

So I'm going home
back to the place where I belong
where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from,
no, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home
I'm going home

Red Moon

--------------------------------------------------------
"He has been very cruel to me. He keeps on telling me that I don't deserve any attention--because I'm wasted. I'm afraid to tell him that I want to leave him, because he once threatened me that he would kill me and our family if I do that."

"There's this man who appreciates me. I thought I was just looking for a friend but I think I've already fallen for him. The only problem is, we couldn't fight for what we feel. I am married with a notorious guy. He, on the other hand, has already submitted himself to the church. I just wish the right time would come for us."

--------------------------------------------------------

"He told me I'm the one he loves and not the mother of his daughter, who just went abroad to work. A day after we went out for a date, he revealed a news: their having a second baby. But he insisted that i am the one. Will I believe him? Do I deserve this?"

---------------------------------------------

"Hey, please tell boss I'm not going to the office today. I feel sick. . . Actually, I was crying all night. He broke up with me. I did not expect it. It is really painful."

"Please don't tell our friends about this. Please."

"You've seen us that afternoon, right? He's still sweet. Then he did that. I swallowed my pride and went to his place. I waited for hours. When he finally got home, I thought we're gonna talk about our problem. But he pushed me away. I told him I will only leave if he would tell me that he doesn't love me anymore. And he did tell me. Without thinking twice. That's it."

"I need someone to talk to. Please. Thanks."

"You know I'm not getting any younger. At my age, I'm already looking for someone who could see himself spending his life with me. I don't know. I'm lost. I gave my all. But he dumped me."

"You're right. He's planned for this. And he found his last day in our office to be the best time to do it. He gave back my pic. And it was from our back-to-back laminated grad pics. If everything came up to his mind only at that moment, he wouldn't have time to re-laminate my grad pic again."

"I will try to move on. Yes I still love him. So much that all these tears are falling down from my eyes right now."
--------------------------------------------------------

Dreaming at Dencio's

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When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll out of bed and down on your knees
and for a moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here
Is she standing in my room?
No, she's not
cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
then all at once you have to say goodbye
wondering could you stay my love
will you wake up by my side?
No, she can't
cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my, roses in my hands?
Would you get them if I did?
No, you won't
Cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
the waking up is the hardest part.

Q.E.D.

Realize: Colbie Colliat

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I,
Didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
if we missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you
But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
if we missed out on each other now.

It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder

Just realize what I just realized
If you just realize what I just realized
missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now
Realize, realize
realize, realize

Hate that I Love You: Rihanna and Neyo

That's much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand ya
Most everything you do
Make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile
Cuz' you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss... and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oooh whoah...)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh...)
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why (why...)
And it just ain't right
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah...)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...
And I hate that I loveYou soooooooo!
As much I love you (as much as I need you oh...)
As much as I need you (oooh... as so much I love you)
As much I love you (oh...)
As much as I need you
And I hate that I love you soooo
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need ya (cant stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no...)
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate that I love you so... soo...

Signal Fire: Snow Patrol

The perfect words never crossed my mind,
'cause there was nothing in there but you,
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
But the sound was trapped deep in me,
All I wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth,
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
Without your arms to drag me out,

There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close 'cause I need you to guide me to safety
No I won't wait forever
No I won't wait forever

In the confusion and the aftermath,
You are my signal fire,
The only resolution and the only joy,
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes,

There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,

There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,
No I won't wait forever
No I won't wait forever
No I won't wait forever

Forget About Me: Little Bit

You said it wasn't
Gonna be like It was before
Then it happened again
Pushing me back
Out the door
Thought it would be
For real this time
Love me forget
About the signs
So now what do I do
Now, that I know
That we're through
Wish that I Could move on
Can't let go It's too strong
Just like that
And then you're gone
Is this how You wanted it to be
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears
Right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape
The misery
Why don't you love me
The way I loved you
It feels so crazy
Cause I dunno
What I did to you
If you're gonna hurt me
Then do it quickly
Cause I'm tired of cryin'
If you don't wanna
Stick around
Then, baby Forget about me
Too late, sorry
I didn't even Have the chance
You said you were happy
Baby I don't understand
Gave you everything You asked for
And was ready To give you a lot more
I would've given The world
Right in the palm Of your hand
Wish that I Could move on
Can't let go It's too strong
Just like that
And then you're gone
Is this how
You wanted it to be
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears Right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape
The misery
Boy My heart was true
And that you can't deny
Don't be a fool
And walk away
From all the lies
It's up to you
Cause heaven knows I've tried
Tell me You're still in love
Yeahhhh Ohh
Forget about me
Forget about me
Oh, baby, oh

Sorry: Buckcherry

Oh I had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
This time I think I'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry baby, Yeah.
I'm sorry.

Tired of Being Sorry: Enrique Iglesias

I don't know why
You want to follow me tonight
When in the rest of the world
With you whom I've crossed and I've quarreled
Lets me down so
For a thousand reasons that I know
To share forever the unrest
With all the demons I possess
Beneath the silver moon
Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
Chandler and Van Nuys
With all the vampires and their brides
We're all bloodless and blind
And longing for a life
Beyond the silver moon
Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees me
But the silver moon
So far away - so outer space
I've trashed myself - I've lost my way
I've got to get to you got to get to you
Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees meBut the silver moon
Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees me
But the silver moon


Over You:Daughtry

Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I felt as if I was in way to deep
Guess I let you get the best of meeee
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say,
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of other’s opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for meee
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
And I never saw it coming
I should have started running
I’m finally getting better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!
The day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you…


Simple Love: Alison Krauss

Little yellow house sittin' on a hill
That is where he lived
That is where he died
Every Sunday morning
Hear the weeping willows cry
Two children born
A beautiful wife
Four walls and livin's all he needed in life
Always giving, never asking back
I wish I had a simple love like that
I want a simple love like that
Always giving, never askin' back
For when I'm in my final hour lookin' back
I hope I had a simple love like that
My momma was his only little girl
If he'd had the money he'd have given her the world
Sittin' on the front porch together they would sing
Oh how I long to hear that harmony
I want a simple love like that
Always giving never asking back
When I'm in my final hour looking back
I hope I had a simple love like that
I want a simple love like that
Always giving never asking back
When I'm in my final hour looking back
I hope I had a simple love like that.


Tattoo: Jordin Sparks

No matter what you say about love,
I keep coming back for more,
Keep My head in the fire,
sooner or later I get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn everytime I bleed
The truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger
I gotta let my spirit be free
To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing is broken
No need to worry about everything
I've done Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I love you once needed protection
You´re still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you
I'll always have you sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
when I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think I could stop
Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind
sorry but I've gotta be strong and leave you behind
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing is broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I love you once needed protection
You´re still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you
I'll always have you
If I live every moment,
It won't change every moment,
Is still a part of me in you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you marks everything I do. oooh..
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing is broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I love you once needed protection
You´re still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing is broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I love you once needed protection
You´re still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo,
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you


Stronger Woman: Jewel

I guess you could say I’m one of those girls
That’s always been with one of those guys
You know the type
Like right now, he sleeps while I write
But it’s better than crying
I’m worn out from trying
From loving a man who always makes it clear
I’m not welcome here
Just till he’s horny and hungry
or needs something cleaned
And you know what I mean
But not tonight
‘Cause come the morning light, oh
I’m gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can’t see
The stronger woman in me
I’m going to be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
Won’t lose myself again, never, no,
‘Cause there’s a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me
Light bulbs buzz, I get up
And head to my drawer
I wish there was more
I could say
Another fairytale fades to gray
I’ve lived on hope
Just like a child
Walking that mile
Faking that smile
All the while
Wishing my heart had wings
Well tonight, I’m going to be
The kind of woman
I’d want my daughter to be, oh
I’m gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can’t see
There’s a stronger woman in me
I’m gonna be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
I won’t lose myself again, never, no
‘Cause there’s a stronger woman,
A stronger woman
This is me, packing up my bags
And this is me, headed for the door
And this is me, the best you ever had
I’m going to love myself
More than anyone else
Believe in me even if someone cannot see
There’s a stronger woman in me
I’m going to be my own best friend
Stay with me till the end
Won’t lose myself again, never, no
‘Cause there’s a stronger woman
A stronger woman
There’s a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me,Yeah…

Fill in the Blanks

I am very much_________.
I don't know ________________.
I feel like I'm ________.
I see __________.
And I do not ______________.
But this is _______.
There are still ____________________________,
Who _______.
And, _________.
He's _____________________.
Please ______________________________.
I am _____.
I want to be ____.
Anyway, I can manage to _______________.
But I can't ______________________________.

Dancing La La La

Everybody's dancing on the dance floor as one of our schoolmates leads us. Hiphop mixed with ballroom dancing: all of us are getting along with the steps and the music. It feels good, even if I'm having a hard time dancing with slippers. :D

I was Ms. Sexyback last Friday in PDTA's recital, at Ayala Hall of Makati Sports Club. It was my first time to be part of a recital--a dance recital. It turned out to be great. And we felt the uniform beat that the people in our school, Studio 116, have.

Maybe for those who have known me for years, dancing is not really my main thing. I only used to dance in school for fun, or when we needed to represent our school (high school) in events and competitions. I can follow dance steps. But I'm not the total performer type who would really stand out among the others.

Now, I dare myself to improve the way I groove. I challenge me to appreciate the art of dancing.

Last April, I enrolled in Sexy Hiphop 1 class at Studio 116 for a number of reasons. My statement above are two of those. I wanted to find an output for all the stress I'm getting from work. I wanted to be more SEXY. Yes, SEXY. My goal is to put a little fat in my thighs and waist, and then tone it through exercise. I don't want to go to Slimmer's or any gym because I'm afraid of blowing up like a balloon if I stop working out. I think it's also more enjoying to see myself sway with some music than just jogging or carrying weights.

My dance card consisted of only four sessions, but Gracie and I decided to join the recital for more thrill. Right after the fourth session, we practiced everyday for almost one whole week. Whew. It's been more than a year since I last spent late nights on the street due to nonlovelife activities. Hehehe. I have to mention that.

Because of my procrastination and laziness, I was not able to prepare for my costume until the day before the recital came. I bought cheap blouses at Landmark but still opted to wear my sister's open-back blouse. Too bad I was not able to buy dangling silver earrings and head accessory (a cap, headband, whatever).

D' DAY: I really didn't know what to expect. I hadn't seen the venue yet because of that CRAZY meeting we had on the Wednesday before the recital. In the afternoon, I had to meet with my Tatay to borrow his DVcam. Call time was 5pm. It was almost 5:30 but there's no taxi! So I walked from Dela Rosa to Valero and met with Gracie. We ate for a while in Paseo Center, and then headed off to Makati Sports Club. We arrived at around 6:15pm.

One more thing!!! My fans--Ness, Paui, and Ken were late! I told them to be at my office at 5pm sharp. But at 4pm, they were still in Las Piñas! Waaaah. So I just had to let them go to the venue all by themselves. Well, they're old enough. Hehehe.

Gracie and I saw almost all of our schoolmates done with their make-ups. So we rushed to the restroom and fixed ourselves. Whoah! In less than 30 minutes, I was able to put on my costume, accessories, and make-up. Grabe!

I just saw myself wearing the smallest earrings among the "sexy hiphopers". Hahaha. Anyway. My fans arrived so I bought tickets for them and for Nanay---who told me she was already on her way. We had a run-through on the dance floor. I really felt so nervous that I couldn't keep my fingers from trembling. It's just practice. I can do it!!!

We had few minutes of picture-taking inside the dressing room until the moment came... Studio 116 on the go!!!

The kids, the teenagers, the young ladies, the instructors, and the staff of Studio 116 showed off their best moves in their own dances.

My favorite was the finale---where each dance group danced into the tune of "The Cup of Life" by Ricky Martin, using the steps of the particular dance type: Salsa, Bachata, Waltz, Tango, Rhumba, Hiphop.

If you're gonna ask how I did on the stage. . . uhm . . . I didn't miss any step. I tried my best to shake off my booty (even if mine is not really bootylicious). I smiled SUPER at the audience. Was a little nervous. Looked SEXY and DARING? Naah. Hehehehe. I felt like I was just one of the hiphop kids doing my thing for momma.

Hail to our instructor---Mitch Dizon; to the school owner---Ms. Emily Silva; to the other instructors; to the recitalists---to my new sexy friends; to the staff; to the families and friends who were there to support the event; and to all who appreciate dancing.

It seems like nobody's getting tired of dancing. Ms. Edna Ledesma, even with her super high-heeled shoes, manages to groove so gracefully.

After several songs, Sir Brando (or Brandon) raised a SanMig Light and invited the people to drink. That made me tell myself---Yes. We did it. Tonight, it's over, but we'll see you again in June.

I Don't Want to See Myself Singing this Song

Forget About Me - Little Bit

For me, this song is for those who have lost hope. I have not. I wish I would not.

Really intended to write the lyrics in this way.

You said, it wasn't gonna be like it was before.Then it happened again. Pushing me back out the door.Thought it would be for real this time.Love me forget about the signs.So now what do i do? Now that I know that we're through. Wish that I could move on Can't let go, it's too strong Just like that and then you're gone Is this how you wanted it to be? Everything you had to say Sent the tears right down my face Now I'm trying to escape The misery Why don't you love me?The way I loved you It feels so crazy 'Coz I don't know what I did to you If you're gonna hurt me Then do it quickly 'Coz I'm tired of cryin' If you don't wanna stick around Then, baby forget about me. Too late, sorry. I didn't have the chance You said you were happy Baby, I don't understand Gave you everything you asked for And was ready to give you a lot more I would've given you the world Right in the palm of your hand. Wish that I could move on Can't let go, it's too strong Just like that and then you're gone Was this how you wanted it to be? Everything you had to say Sent the tears right down my face Now I'm trying to escape The misery Why don't you love me? The way I loved you It feels so crazy 'Coz I don't know what I did to you If you're gonna hurt me Then do it quickly 'Coz I'm tired of cryin' If you don't wanna stick around Then, baby forget about me.Boy, my heart was true And that you can't deny Don't be a fool And walk away from all the lies It's up to you 'Coz heaven knows I've tried Tell me you're still in love. Why don't you love me? The way I loved you It feels so crazy 'Coz I don't know what I did to you If you're gonna hurt me Then do it quickly 'Coz I'm tired of cryin 'If you don't wanna stick around Then, baby forget about me.Forget about meI really love you.

I'm already drowned in trigonometry here. Help!

Life is such a Chaos

cha·os n.
1. A condition or place of great disorder or confusion.
2. A disorderly mass; a jumble: The desk was a chaos of papers and unopened letters.
3. often Chaos The disordered state of unformed matter and infinite space supposed in some cosmogonic views to have existed before the ordered universe.
4. Mathematics: A dynamical system that has a sensitive dependence on its initial conditions.
5. Obsolete An abyss; a chasm.

When we say life is chaotic, do we really mean that there's nothing beautiful in it?
disorder. . .
confustion . . .
jumble . . .
MAGULO.

Look at these images. They are called fractals---a mathematical chaos. Who will say that they are UGLY?

I will not go into the 'matematik' side, don't worry.

I just want to share that what keeps me going on despite of a chaotic life I have is the idea that like the fractals, I will find something GOOD not only in me, but also in the people around me, in the things I see, in the world I live in.

The chaos itself is wonderful. As the definition above says, a mathematical chaos depends on the initial conditions---doing something now will affect what you will be in the future. Hmmmm. It makes me more excited about what tomorrow would bring. It lets me choose to look at everything positively. It helps me feel that no matter how problematic my life is, it is still one beautiful creation of God.

Testimonials Make Me Cry

IN FRONT OF MY PC, 1am: Browsing through the friendster testimonials of different persons in my life almost made me cry. I was just keeping myself awake while doing the powerpoint presentation for SEM's roundtable, when I suddenly thought of going through each comment/testimonial--from the latest to the very first one.

Well, I know that statements like those of Friendster Testi/Comments are ought to show the GOOD side of me. Overwhelming, the compliments are. But most of what I have read are sweet, kilig to the bones, and sincere (I think so!). Actually, receiving so many comments about me being "NGARAG" may not sound like a compliment, but it's OK. Because I admit it. Hehehe.

I feel happy to know that there are people who appreciate me even at my worst moods. Thank you, guys. Haha. Talking like a celebrity? But seriously, reading your testimonials lifts up my spirit. Huhuhu. Mushy mushy.

Got to end this. I still have one more topic to prepare.

Dreaming of a BIG-BIG-BIG family

This morning, saw this news on Yahoo!.

I'm wondering if in the future, I would be like Michelle Duggar, who already have 17 kids--turning 18 next year. Having eight children is fine with me. As long as we (my future husband and I) can afford their needs and can be responsible and loving to them. Hmmmm. . . What if we extend the "EIGHT" to "EIGHT-EEN" ? Hahaha. Kaya ba Ming? =)

Michelle's only 41 and is looking as healthy as the young Duggars. They live well in a 7000-foot home in Arkansas. Each kid does his/her chores. The boys do the girls' tasks, and vice versa. All of the kids play piano and violin. Most of all, God rules their home. Sweeet.

Read more about the Duggar Family at Discovery Health Website.

College Girl Sings Math

Here's an article that I wrote for my mag. I really find her song called "Horizontal Asymptote" cute. I can relate to it.

"Getting close to you. . .arbitrarily close to you, but no matter how close I go, (I think-this is me!) I'll never get to touch you, my horizontal asymptote."

DONNA requesting on the radio: I dedicate the song Horizontal Asymptote to my department-to-be. Will I ever get to touch you? Or should I just give you up and leave?

Click the link for the mp3 of Horizontal Asymptote.

The popular songs of our times are mostly about life experiences and relationship between people. Melodies at different genres sound good, as well as the lyrics of the songs which use simple languages and figures of speech—not as technical as those we learn in math or in science. But there’s one girl from the University of California-Berkeley, Nicole Campbell, who writes and sings songs using mathematical topics and terms, like angles and lines.

Nicole performed on the CAL Day celebration of her university last April, where she shared the beauty of music, mathematics, and science through her songs.

For the 20-year-old Biology major, there are a lot of things in life that can be described by math and science metaphors—concepts in Calculus and Physics to name a few. On the other hand, the best way to learn these subjects is to relate the topics to touchable things that people see everyday.

The talented Nicole started to write songs about math and science in her senior year in high school. She always asked her teachers to let her write songs about their class topic answering the homework itself. She is looking forward to becoming a teacher soon, and now that many and many are appreciating her music, Nicole hopes to write for every thing she teaches.

For those who are not familiar with horizontal asymptote:

A graph with a horizontal asymptote looks like this: The x-axis or the line y = 0 is the horizontal asymptote of the given curve.

Swimming into a New Life

APRIL 26: All we wanted was to SWIM, RELAX, ENJOY, UNWIND. But the photo below shows what happened to us that afternoon.




SF's (Super Friends) summer outing. The Galera trip was cancelled last April 5, 6, 7 because I was sick. So we decided to move the outing and rent the clubhouse at Peter's village in QC instead. But Peter was getting ready for his "sign off" as one of Diwa's managers so he could not really work on it. Finally, we ended up going to Josephine's Water Camp in Kawit, Cavite.


Saturday came, April 26. Only Gerard, Gracie, and I went on with the plan. Gerard brought her 2-year old baby, Sofia. Gracie was with Mark, his fiance, and EJ, her cousin who just came from Laoag. I came with my sisters, Ness and Paui. From DIWA office, our convoy (Gracie, Mark, and EJ in Gracie's car; Gerard, Sofia, I and my two sisters in Gerard's car) traveled all the way to Cavite. We met Ness and Paui at SM Bacoor because they still came from our home.

Jinks number 1: We're in Binakayan, Kawit, when we asked a manong which way is to Cavite City. He said "Kanan (right)". So we turned right and saw Island Cove along the way. But then, after following the road, we found ourselves in Binakayan again! Hay! Si Manong talaga.

So this time we went straight and asked some more manongs, then finally saw signages pointing the way to Josephine's. We reached that UNFORGETTABLE intersection, with JOSEPHINE's big sign there.

Jinks number 2:We turned left and saw the parking area. But even before we found a parking space, the guard signaled--he's turning us away! Then he went to us and said, "Ma'am, Sir, di na po kayo pwede. Closed na po. Masyado na pong maraming tao (You cannot enter the resort. We're already closed. There's too much people inside.)" He told us that there were no cottages available and the pools were overloaded. Really? Maybe yes. But we wished they had let us in so we could convince ourselves that we should find our fate in other resorts.

It was our first time to see a resort stopping people from entering their place. Haha. Weird. Tinalo pa sila ng mga fastfood restaurants na kahit umaapaw na sa tao, pinapapasok pa rin ang mga tao. We really got pissed off. So we had a very short meeting at the parking lot and decided to move to Island Cove.

Jinks number 3-THE MAIN JINK: We went back to the intersection, but Gerard was hesitating to pass through the same road again. Medyo traffic kasi. We saw two men waiting at the corner of that intersection, so we asked them if there's an alternate route to Island Cove. But they were no help. THE MOMENT CAME. Gerard released the hand break. When we looked at the right, and, "TRUCK!!!" He stepped on the break again but it was too late. Boooooom.

Yes. Gerard's car was hit by the approaching truck. We almost got under it, but thanks to Gerard he was able to hold the break again. Thanks to the truck driver because he stopped right away after realizing that their truck hit us. Whew. Because if not, we might still be in the hospital and I might not be able to write this entry.

The next scene was like this: Ness and Paui holding Sophia, Gracie taking pictures (the pic above was from her), Gerard repeatedly saying, "malas naman oh. . . ", Mark assisting Gerard, and I---just looking at the disastered car, speechless. Thanks again to the truck persons because they did not nag at us. They too, seemed shocked. Sadly, Gerard admitted right away that it was his mistake. Whoever made the mistake---we could not turn back time.


Just like any other road accident, a police officer came, sketching and taking pictures of the scene, interrogating the drivers, and calling for back up. The drivers had to go to the police station to settle the case. How about us?

Hay. We stayed inside Gracie's car and waited for the wrecker. Yes. Gerard's car couldn't make it to their house so it had to be towed. When the wrecker arrived, we headed straight to Gerard's house in Imus. I felt nervous when we reached the gate of the village. How will we tell Gerard's family about it? How will they react?

Few blocks before Gerard's house, I saw Tita, Sofia's yaya, chatting with some neighbors. My fault that I didn't go down to tell her what happened before she sees the car. At yun nga. She saw the wrecker and panicked. When I went to her, she welcomed me with a worried cry, "Ano'ng nangyari? Si Pia?" Sofia was sleeping inside the car. I told her she's okay. and Gerard is still at the police station.

Gracie went with me to face Gerard's dad. He got angry. (malamang!) But he did not blame us or what. He was just an angry, worried dad and lolo. Whew.

To cut the story short, our swimming day turned to be a simple salu-salo at Gerard's house--with Andok's chicken that was supposed to be our baon. We recalled the scenes, and laughed at ourselves---happy enough that we are still alive.

Yes. I'm still alive. The one who's writing this entry is not yet a ghost. Hehehe.

Everything that happened only sinked in to me the day after that incident. For two or three days, I became totally clouded by the thought that we almost lost our lives. But I'm ok now.

Thank you, God. Gerard can still celebrate his birthday on Sunday. And he's still able to welcome his wife who I think already arrived from Kuwait. And he's still with his cute daughter.

Most of all, the Layco's tatlong maria are still here, ramping their beauties. Hehehe.