WeiRd-ArTistiC-gAL

What Will Make Me Happy?

2010-05-26T00:58:00.006+08:00

Happiness is one of the hardest things to achieve in our life. It is also one of the hardest terms to understand. We can hear this word or even its root word 'happy' in so many events, places, and moments--'Happy Birthday!', 'We wish you all the happiness in the world!', etc., but do we know what 'being happy' really means? Does it have a general meaning that applies to every person in this world??

Some may say living with your loved ones makes us happy. For some, it's about getting rich. Some people consider themselves happy when they get to do what they want to do. And some are happy because they are in service of the Almighty.

Now I ask myself, am I happy? If yes, what are the things that make me happy? If no, what will make me happy?

I am currently unhappy because I have lots of problems---money, debts, schooling siblings, conflicts in relationships, unstable work, and many many more. I think I am born to be like that. I'm meant to be a strong person facing the craziest problems that exist. Yet, I know I could have not been like this if only I made the right decisions in the past. If only I managed to know my priorities. So many could have beens. But at this point in my life, I could not go back to those mistakes anymore and keep myself frustrated.

I am unhappy because I don't feel enough sincere love from the people around me. I always feel that they only love me for what I can do for them, not for who I am--even if I just be me at my simplest state. As a result, I keep myself timid and try not to give them what they need from me, and see if they would still say 'hi' to me for the sake of greeting me or making my day happy. But more often than not, I feel like I am just a nobody.

This another frustration of mine led me to loving others the way I want to be loved, hoping that somehow, they would also make me feel that they love me for the only person I am. But again, I see it as a failure. Because they just get choked with the attention that I am giving them. Too much for what they need.

See? I think I am truly unhappy at this point because instead of writing about the happy things that I have in my life, I spent at least three paragraphs already only to talk about my frustrations.

So what will really make me happy?

I will be happy if when I look at the mirror, I see the most beautiful me... with healthy hair, blooming skin, and warm smile. I hope I can do that with the little shampoo and soap left in the bathroom. I hope I can really get to smile with all my heart. Despite the modesty that I naturally have.

I will be happy if I get to sleep on a comfortable bed.

I will be happy if I will be able to buy the things that I want to have --- shoes, a few office and casual clothes, camera accessories, and painting materials.

I will be very happy if I will have the chance to make my Lola happy too.---treat her to a vacation or give her a comfortable room to sleep in.

I will also be happy to see myself playing a rhapsody on the piano.

I will be ultimately happy if I can go to a place where nobody will talk to me, call me, blame me, scold at me, ask for my assistance, or command me. I just want to be with my laptop, camera, easel, canvas, paints and paintbrushes, fresh juice, and fan alone. I want to be in a place where I can think about things over, without interruption or time limit. To cut the story short, I want to live a solitary life.

I will be extremely happy if I get to go to places and explore the beauty of nature. With my camera, I want to capture the sceneries around me.

I will be completely happy if I will be loved by someone with all his heart, giving me just enough so that I can be at my very best.

I will be totally happy if I will be able to love someone the way he wants to be loved. I love not for my own good, but I love to make someone happy.

I will definitely happy to see myself doing good at work, photography, arts, music, sports, and in achieving happiness through the reasons that I listed above. I am very far from the peak of being happy right now. But I want to be there soon, very soon.

Back in Your Arms

2009-02-11T21:25:00.003+08:00

I'm back in your arms, my Toilet
After quite sometime
At this moment, so dark

You held me once again
Wiped away my tears,
Took away the hurt,
And gave me reason to live.

Tell me, Toilet
Do I deserve this?
Maybe yes.
Because I did something wrong before.

All I wanted is to love
And to be loved.
Oh my Toilet, catch me!

Shouldn't be like this.
I have to leave.
Thanks again.

Hitchedmag article: Purpose: Who Am I? Why Am I?

2009-02-07T08:13:00.002+08:00

As I was checking on this draft post, I could not think of where I got this article from. But at the end of the article, alas! I pasted the link of the article. I got this from Hitchedmag.

Who Really Am I? Why Am I here? I will let you read this article first before answering the questions myself.

Purpose: Who Am I? Why Am I?

With everything going on around you, it can be easy to get off track. Use these 8 tips to keep it fresh.
BY LAURA STACK

The key to purpose and energy is flow.

Are you following your mission in life or do you feel disconnected from what you want to do, believe in and value? Are other people defining who you are? The more your time is organized around your values the more energy you gain from your activities. Here are a few ideas that can help you stay "on flow."

1. Figure out who you want to be and what you want to do. Many of us ignore our dreams in the interest of providing for our families, or because we think we don't deserve them—but all that does is leave us unhappy and listless. If this describes you, spend some time deciding what you want to do and be.

2. Take a good, long look at your career choices. Are you happy? Do you find your work fulfilling? Or are you just going through the motions to pay the bills? If the answer to the last question is "Yes," reconsider your career.

3. Don't equate material success with achieving dreams. Money can't buy happiness. If you have everything you ever wanted and you're still unhappy, maybe it's because you've sacrificed your dreams for money. Reconsider your options, and figure out how you can make the world a better place.

4. Don't let your obligations prevent you from pursuing your dreams. Your dreams didn't cease to exist the day your kids were born. Sure, you're here to encourage their dreams and help them attain them, but not to abandon yours in the meantime. Trying to achieve your own dreams sends your kids a healthy message about life and how to live it.

5. Spend time on what's most important to you. Put some metrics on your priorities. If family, health and spirituality are important to you, don't throw them over in favor of work. Balance your life to reflect what matters to you most.

6. Cultivate faith in a higher power. If you find solace in believing in God, Allah or Prana, embrace that satisfaction; however, you don't have to subscribe to a particular faith to be a spiritual person or to benefit from a daily dose of energy from your spiritual practice of choice.

7. Avoid people who shatter your dreams. Don't try to be what people expect you to be, and never, ever listen to people who put down your dreams. Instead, believe in yourself and work hard to attain what you want out of life.

8. Claim your dream. Stop being all talk and no action. Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Without over analyzing act straight from your gut and finish this sentence: I am a ______________. Then do what you need to in order to make that dream a reality.

The key to purpose and energy is flow. Anything short of flow and you spend lots of energy being restless and irritated. When what you believe and what you do are in alignment, you'll experience higher satisfaction in everyday life. Stop ignoring your dreams!

Laura Stack (www.TheProductivityPro.com) is a motivational speaker who helps busy workers Leave the Office Earlier with Maximum Results in Minimum Time. She is the president of The Productivity Pro, Inc., a time management firm specializing in productivity improvement in high-stress organizations. Laura has given presentations on improving output, lowering stress and saving time in today’s workplaces for companies such as Microsoft, Starbucks and 3M. She is the bestselling author of "The Exhaustion Cure" (2008); "Find More Time" (2006); and "Leave the Office Earlier" (2004). To have Laura speak at your event, call 303-471-7401.
http://www.TheProductivityPro.com

What I Miss About Diwa

2009-02-01T23:00:00.000+08:00

Again, this post is quite late. I was supposed to post something about leaving Diwa last September 2008. Hehehe. Huli man daw, naihahabol din!

Five months ago, I left a place that became my second home for more than a year... a place that exposed me to the REAL corporate world... a place where I learned a lot of things about career and life.

*** I miss the RUSH days when I had to finish writing, editing, and proofreading articles just to meet the not-so-realistic-but-required deadlines. Pressure pressure pressure. I think that's the only thing PERMANENT in the publishing industry.

***I miss the PHOTOSHOOT sessions that I had to do by myself, and with the whatever-is-available digicam. Photoshoot sessions that gave me the chance to meet with students and teachers. Even if my officemates kept on telling me not to spend my own money for my fare and for the merienda of my 'models', I still got bucks from my pocket just to make sure they would not end up complaining. It's also my way of saying 'Thank you!!! matatapos ko na magazine ko!!"

***I miss the super active corporate politics. Hahaha. Oh well, that's what made me say YES to my new company. I got really depressed after learning and seeing myself trapped in the middle of silent-fighting bosses.

***I miss the almost everyday 'I'm tired of working here and I want to find a new job' lines of my officemates. Because from those, we get to talk about our plans in the future.

***I miss Greenbelt---the park, the shops, the chapel.

***I miss Washington&Sycip Park.

***I miss the chats in Stickies.

***I miss being Dr. Love. Hahaha. It's natural in me to help my friends with their L-O-V-E problems, but honestly, there came a time when I told myself, it's enough! I was always the shock absorber, and the bad thing is I keep the 'shock' inside me. I got overloaded with their neverending stories that I could not handle my own problems anymore.

***I miss sleeping on my cubicle. nyahaha.

***I miss the food at Jolli-jeeps.

***I miss the elevator.

***I miss the art sessions with the Super Friends. After a long while, I got to bring back my hobby.

***I miss people calling me 'Donna'.

***I miss the so many bonding sessions---talk about anything.

***I miss the audit days of 5S. "Clean your place! May mag-aaudit!" hahahaha.

***I miss.................................... my friends in Diwa. They are quite different from my new friends in PAL, and despite the problems and conflicts that we had back then, I still miss their super loud laughs and young-at-heart ideas.

Di yan bola ha. :)

Looking Back: Ming Surprises Chik

2009-01-19T11:30:00.002+08:00

August 9, 2008, Saturday.--- Days before this day, I already felt that something special's gonna happen. I was just not sure what it is until my look-alike guy from Boracay came from behind while I was sitting on one of the plant boxes at SM Mall of Asia.

Actually, I don't know how to start sharing this story. BASTA! Hehehe.

A week before August 9, JR already asked a list of pasalubong that I wanted. He said it's better to be ready if ever he receives a notice from his office that he will be sent back to Manila. Oh, ok. But I remember asking him about when he'll come home, he said, "October". Hahaha. So I gave him my list. Then he told me, "Uy, lumabas naman kayo ni Ate next Saturday." And why?! JR said he just wanted us to look for a nice polo that he could wear on Ate Sheila's (his Ate's sister-in-law) wedding on August 16 (one week after August 9). He even set the time--which is very unusual. Mga taong walang oras. But who am I to say no? He instructed me to wait for his Ate's call. Ok ok.

And then he said he's so excited to see me when he gets home on August 15. "Countdown tayo!" Eh di countdown... 15 days! From then on, he was always asking me, "Ilang araw na lang?" Yun pala, mas maaga ng 7 days yung pag uwi niya. JR talaga.

I was already having an idea that he'll be coming home very SOON. Tuesday of that week, he asked me if I could buy a travel bag and send it to him through LBC, ASAP. Wah. Thanks for understanding that I didn't have enough time to do that. :)

Thursday came, Lhen (his Ate) and I haven't planned things yet. I was too busy, while her phone was always out of reach. I only knew that we will meet at MoA, 5pm on Saturday. That's it.

Friday: I got a text from JR saying we won't be talking over the phone that night, because he has an event with his friends. Ok... then I learned.. Las-shing daw siya. Hay naku. And maybe because of the alcohol-intake, the clue words just came out from him. He told me that "tomorrow" I will know and understand why all these things had to happen. Huli! Still, I didn't spoil the excitement I was feeling. Tamang hinala lang. :D

Saturday: Last Saturday work of Diwa. I was supposed to teach Issa for her exams, but I canceled it just to attend to my appointment with Lhen. After lunch, JR and I were constantly texting each other. He said he wasn't able to go to work because of hangover, but he still dropped by his office to get something.

With my Diwa friends, I went to Timezone Greenbelt 3 to play arcade, and to wait for 5pm. JR and I talked until 3pm (i think). He ended our conversation because he said he needed to go somewhere. Kwento na lang daw later. Uyy, sasakay na siguro ng plane yun! hahaha. Arcade.arcade.arcade.

And then at about 4:30 or 5pm, Lhen called using Ken's phone. She told me that they're already on their way to MoA. So I headed off to our meeting place and waited for them. Hmmmm...

I bet you already know what happened next. I was sitting on the plant box near McDo when Lhen called. She said they've just parked their van and they'll be there in a few minutes. And then JR called. "Asan na si Ate? San daw kayo magkikita?" were his lines. I was still talking to him when I saw Lhen and her family coming to me. "Andito na sila!" I greeted the kids with a hug.

Then I turned at my back, and saw the BIG SURPRISE.

Hihihihi. Kilig. That day was a blast. Except for the... hah.forget about it, girl.

New Things for New Year

2009-01-17T10:44:00.001+08:00

I know this New Year post is a little bit late already. But then I want to start my 2nd blogging year with a post like this to have something to look at when I get lazy writing. hahaha.

So, what's NEW in MADO this 2009?

1. A NEW PAIR OF EXTRACTED WISDOM TEETH. Last November, I had the first round of my two-session impacted teeth extraction. They had removed the upper and lower right third molars(not sure if it's really 'third'), and today (yes, today) I'm going back to my dentist to have the left pair extracted. Hayyy. I just have to do this to get my dental benefits from the company, and to prepare for my ortho treatment soon.

2. A NEW PC. Haha. I'm selling our two desktop PCs and replace them with a new one. This time, branded,flat screen, and with high specs. I think my sister's boyfriend will get the two. Actually he already got the black one the other day.

I wish I could also buy a NEW LAPTOP for myself. This laptop that I'm using right now is kinda. Never mind. Thanks anyway, Nanay.

3. NEW PET. Last week, Gracie texted me, selling their Jap Spitz-Mini Pinscher puppies. I've been wanting a pet dog since we moved back here in Las Pinas in 2003, but I know our place is too small to put up a pet cage. Another thing is we don't have enough 'soil' here, not enough to dispose or bury the animal's poo.

After thinking a hundred times, I finally decided to get the puppies, whether Nanay will agree or not. Surprisingly, when I told her about it, she became more excited than we are (but she doesn't admit it).

I only wanted one puppy at first, but Gracie and Mark suggested that it would be better to get a pair (cheaper, and cuter! hahaha). Oh noh! Can I handle two dogs at the same time?! Luckily, JR offered to take one of the pupppies. Kunwari daw gift!

Bob and Bab are not yet here with us because of #1. I won't be able to take care of them if I'm sick, right? Soon! Soon!

4. A NEW PHONE. JR has been nagging about buying a new celfone. If you get to see my current phone, for sure you'll understand why he's like that!hahaha. My LG unit (the one that we got from the SUN plan) lost its life few months ago, so I have to use my old N6030 alone. Meaning, two SIM cards in one unit. And despite the loose phone case, hard-to-press keypad, and "Insert SIM Card" or "Phone Restricted" alert every minute, it is still the one that I'm using. But latlely, I realized that it's not helping me anymore. So, it'll be soon goodbye to you N6030. It's nice to have you for more than two years.

5. NEW SIDELINES. Well, it's me. I can't keep myself from working all the time. I hate being idle. Hahaha.

6. NEW ADVENTURES. I just hope I would get to the places I'm planning to go to this 2009. My goal now is to spend all the 10 long holidays for this year to have 10 new memorable adventures in my life.

7. NEW COMPANY BENEFITS. In March, hopefully, I would get my 'regular status'. So that in September, my first year anniversary in the company, I will be getting my other benefits---trip passes and discounts, medical and dental benefits, etc. Yehey. :D

8. NEW SKILLS. I can learn programming. I can! I can! hahaha. That's fighting spirit. During my college days I admit I was not good at setting up loops and statements. I felt so ignorant when my professor asked us to code something and I was always the last one to finish. Now, as I read the so many thick IBM manuals, I know that the day will come when programming is as easy as one,two,three.

9.NEW CHURCH LIFE. I'm happy that JR and I finally agreed that we will not miss Sunday mass. One week in their village church, and then the following week in our community chapel. We may not have had the best New Year celebration because of some conflicts, but I'm looking forward to turning our lives a lot better through learning about God.

10. NEW CHANCE. I could not think of what to put in my 10th entry until I heard Joey De Leon in Takeshi's Castle say the word "CHANCES". Above all the new things that I will be having this year, the CHANCE to live my life at its best counts the most.

No Updates

2008-10-16T23:53:00.003+08:00

It's been...uhm...months since I posted my last entry in my blog. Waaaaaah. reasons?

1. Last September, I transferred to a new company----I have no access to other sites except the corporate and employees' site.

2. I was busy preparing for some events---my birthday, my sister's 18th birthday, my cousin's wedding. Whoah! Business!

3. I became part of the group that handles our department's Christmas party. I am the sexytary. Hehehe.and the Editor-in-Chief of our newsletter.

4. I am always at MoA after work. Waiting for JR. Eating.eating.eating. Playing arcades. Ooops. Not anymore. He's now assigned in Ohana project (in Las Pinas) so he doesn't have to go to Makati except for trainings.

I've started drafts for my posts but they remain drafts until now. For my friends who read my blog (if there's any), don't worry, I'll update my blog VERY soon!

Wala na si Kasilag

2008-08-31T09:07:00.000+08:00

Nakita ko lamang sa Manila Times noong isang linggo, August 22, 2008, ang larawan ng paghahatid kay Lucrecia Kasilag sa kanyang huling hantungan noong August 21, 2008. Nabigla ako, dahil ilang araw din akong hindi nakapanood ng telebisyon at hindi ko nalaman ang balitang iyon. August 18, 2008, Lunes, nang namatay dahil sa sakit na pneumonia ang 90-taong gulang na si Tita King.

Pumanaw na ang isa sa mga haligi ng musikang Pilipino. Tandang-tanda ko nang ako'y nasa hayskul pa lamang, at bumili ako ng librong Philippine Folk Dances para sa aming MAPEH. Si Kasilag ang sumulat noon. Dahil siya rin ang nagtayo ng Philippine National Folk Dance Company (Bayanihan). Aliw na aliw ako noong basahin at pag-aralan ang mga sayaw ng ating lahi. At sa isang batang tulad ko (noong mga panahong iyon), malaking bagay ang mamulat sa kultura ng bayan.

Sana, kahit wala na siya, magtuluy-tuloy pa rin ang kanyang layunin. Sana, sa pamamagitan ng mga kabataang kanyang nahubog, maipakita pa rin ang ganda ng musika at sayaw ng Pilipino. Sana, kahit sa panahong ang mga sanggol ngayon ay lumaki na at matuto nang umunawa, maipakilala pa rin sa kanila ang sarili nating kultura, kasama na ang mga naging tagataguyod nito tulad ni Kasilag.

Napakapalad ko at sa henerasyon ko, may isang tulad ni Lucrecia Kasilag ang nabuhay. Sana'y umabot sa iyo diyan sa langit ang aking pasasalamat at panalangin.

Maaari ninyong puntahan ang link na ito upang mapakinggan ang mga komposisyon ni Kasilag sa album na Kasilag Guitar Quartet: http://payplay.fm/kasilaggq

Blooper of the Day---Pakiramdam ni Manong Drayber

2008-08-22T08:36:00.007+08:00

Medyo tinanghali na kami ng alis ni JR papuntang opisina. Pasado ala siyete na nang kami'y makasakay sa shuttle (ang tawag sa mga vans at AUVs na diretso ang biyahe) sa may pilahan sa Casimiro. Mabilis naman kaming umandar. Ok naman si Manong Drayber.

Binagtas namin ang CAA Road. Di na halos namin namalayan ang biyahe dahil sa kwentuhan. Pagliko sa may Sucat, bigla na lang pumarada ang sasakyan sa isang parking space sa tabi ng kalsada. Dahil di ko naman masyadong kita ang labas, akala ko magpapagasolina lamang kami. Pero lahat, pati si JR ay nanghaba ang leeg kakadungaw sa aming pinuntahan. Bigla na lamang nagsalita si Manong Drayber . . .

"Lipat na lang ho kayo sa kabila. May naramdaman ho ako e. Pasensya na."

Naramdaman? Anu'ng naramdaman ni Manong? Kung anu-anong posibleng sagot ang naisip namin ni JR.

Parang madalas na nangyayari kay JR, nakaramdam siya ng pananakit ng tiyan at kailangan niyang magpunta sa banyo.
Nanikip ang kanyang dibdib at hindi na niya kaya pang magmaneho.
Buntis si Manong (akin lang to.)
Gutum na gutom na siya.
Natakot sa mga manghuhuli sa kalsada.
---JR, ano pa nga bang naiisip mo kanina?

Dali-dali kaming lumipat sa kabilang sasakyan. Ayus na sana, dahil di naman gaanong matrapik. Ngunit. . . si Manong Drayber 2, biglang nagradyo . . .

"Saan ko kaya pwedeng ibaba itong mga Caltex ko?"

Anu ba yan. Ibig sabihin, hindi pwedeng magbaba sa may Evangelista---kung saan dapat bababa si JR. Malapit nang mag-alas otso. Si JR, unti-unti nang kumukunot ang noo. Buti nadaan ko sa biro. Hehehe.

Marami raw "kalaban" sabi ni Manong Drayber 2. Ibig sabihin, may mga nanghuhuli ng mga nagbababa ng pasahero. Hay!

Kaya sa Mantrade bumaba si JR, at ayon sa kanya, late siya nang ilang minuto. Ok lang yan, minsan lang naman. Hahaha.

Pero . . . ano nga kaya ang nangyari kay Manong Drayber?

Rap ‘em All the Way

2008-08-20T13:34:00.004+08:00

Another Tatsulok article... :D

If young Nicole Campbell turns her math lessons into songs, then there’s a guy from a Latino neighborhood in California raps while teaching math. Couldn’t imagine how the algebra terms recited like e-to-the-o with a beat box rhythm? Listen to Alex Kajitani’s music and be amazed.

America is currently having problems with their elementary and middle school students’ performances in math. Students in Alex’s area rank among the worse. Being a degree-holder in sociology and masters in educational curriculum and development, he observed the kids and thought of a way on how to make them remember what he’s teaching. Alex had always wanted to make math cool, but no matter how he tried to make the lessons fun and easier, the students could not absorb even a single algebra rule or definition. He, too, did not know the reason. Then he noticed something—kids don’t want to think of what their teacher says, but the songs of their favorite rap stars retain in their minds almost 24 hours!

Ding! A bright idea came into Alex—he’s a fan of rap music, what if he uses it as his mode of teaching? He wasted no time and ran into the nearest music stores in their place to look for instructional materials that have “rap taste,” but he was unfortunate. So he began writing his own rap song—without thinking that it could turn the world upside down.

FACT BYTES

Alex has put up a website, Math Raps (www.mathraps.com) with his wife, Megan Pincus Kajitani, M.A., and web designer Jeff Pincus.

Megan is also one of Alex’s back-up singers in his album.

The two volume-album ‘The Rappin’ Mathematician’ has now sold over a thousand copies across the United States.

Now, Alex’s songs have become sensational—students, teachers, and parents loved the music so much that they finally gave the singer a title—The Rappin’ Mathematician. And sooner, his first album with the same title was released.

Wouldn’t it be great to see the every kid rapping decimals, fractions, number line, and integers, at the same time becoming math geniuses?

Sources
www.mathraps.com/index.htm
http://teachers.net/wong/DEC07/

Together Again

2008-08-19T08:42:00.004+08:00

After more than a year of living far from each other, JR and Donna are together again. Hehehe. They've got to be ready with endless siomai, movies, late-night gimiks, pizza, shakes, pasta, walkathons, church mass, NBA games, pc games, sweet moments, crying sessions, rounds of wrestling, debates, and fights.

Well, he's been here for only two saturdays, but we've already watched two movies, and, dated and fought n-times. I told myself that I would try my best to make things different from the way they were before. Of course, for the better. Uhm, JR, do you think I would succeed? hehehe. You'll help me out in this, right? :D

It would be a lot different from our college days. Because we are both working now, thinking of how far our salaries would bring us. The level of stress will also be different, obviously. Whatelse? We're already in our 20s--we're not teens anymore. His world will also be a lot BIGGER---he won't be as isolated as he was like when he was in Boracay.

I'm just hoping this would help us improve "JR and Donna", as well as "JR" and "Donna". More prayers. More love.

Welcome home! And a BIG THANKS for the surprise. Will be posting the story as soon as I get the pics from you. I'm thinking you still have time to drop by this blog--this link is in your URL history list.hehehe. :D

Arte y pico Award

2008-08-12T21:33:00.005+08:00

I was so surprised when my kaagimat Frustrated Writer told me this morning that he has an award for me. It was flattering even before I learned about what it's all about.

When I started this blog last year, I knew that I wanted to somehow inspire others with my stories. I am not a creative writer. My vocabulary isn't that good. But then I got so much stories to tell. In other words, madaldal. Hehehehe.

I am glad that someone has appreciated my blog. Thank you so much. Now I want to pay it forward by recognizing other blogs.

Here are the rules for passing this honor on:

1) Pick 5 blogs that you would like to award this honor to.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y Pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.

Presenting. . . my awardees:
lagal[og]
me and my travel bag
meditations of a prodigal daughter
Atisan ang Bago Kong Kundiman
Politics for Breakfast

A Letter to the Toilet

2008-08-10T22:22:00.006+08:00

Dear Toilet,

Thank you for letting me sit on you this evening. You are such a blessing for people who can't find a good place to be alone. For the little time that I was sitting on you, I was able to cry my heart out. I got the chance to think about how I really feel about the happenings around me.

Thanks a lot, my dear Toilet, for catching all the tears that I cried a while ago. It made me feel lighter. Yes, I was hurt, but because I know that you're there with me, I felt better.

Next time, I hope we could share our stories with each other, or give advice to each other. I'm looking forward to being your good friend.

I gotta sleep now. I will also be praying to God that all others who are hurting right now will find their own version of you.

Love Lots,

weird_artistic_gal

PHOTO LINK:http://darkcreek.com/files/images/American_Toilet_b.jpg

Maligayang Kaarawan, Kaibigan

2008-08-06T09:52:00.004+08:00

Maligayang kaarawan muli, kaibigan. Noong nakaraang taon ay sumulat ako sa iyo--ngunit hindi ko alam kung makakarating pa ito. Nasaan ka na kaya? Maayos ba ang iyong pamumuhay? Sana naman. At sana, isang araw, makita ka naming muli--buhay na buhay, puno ng sigla at pag-asa.

Hetong muli ang aking liham. Baka sakaling mahanap mo ang blog ko at mabasa ito.

Ika-6 ng Agosto
Kaarawan mo ngayon. Tinanong ako ng Mama mo kung may balita kami sa’yo. Hindi ako nakasagot. Marami akong ginagawa sa opisina. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang isasagot ko. Wala na akong balita sa’yo.

Ang huling nasabi lang sa akin ng bestfriend mo, sumulat ka raw at nagpapadala ng mga kailangan mong gamit. Noong bakasyon pa ata yun. Pagkatapos wala na. Parang ayoko na ring balikan pa ang mga nangyari dati—yung mga panahong pinaiyak mo ang mga kaibigan natin. Pinaiyak mo dahil nagpaalam kang aalis ka at magsasarili. Inalisan mo kami para kamo sa iyong layuning magsilbi sa bayan. Inilaglag mo kami. Ano pang silbi kung kakapit pa rin ako sa’yo?

Balikan nga natin ang nangyari.

Pahiwatig.
Mahigit isang taon na rin nang ginulat mo kami sa balitang pupunta ka sa malayo upang tulungan kamo ang mga kababayan nating higit na nangangailangan ng tulong. Sinabi mo na iyon ilang buwan bago mo sabihing tutuloy ka.

Nagresign ka sa pagiging opisyal ng organisasyong aking pinamumunuan. Sabi mo’y gusto mong magtuon sa paghahanda mo para sa mas malaking tungkuling iyong gagampanan. Pumayag ako. Sabi mo tumahimik lang ako at huwag munang sasabihin sa iba nating kaibigan. Sinunod kita.

Kakabit no’n ang napakaraming tanong na nabuo sa aking isipan. Bakit? Ano ang kinaibahan ng iyong gagawin sa ginagawa kong pag-aaral at pagsisikap upang makatulong din sa kapwa pagdating ng tamang panahon? Ano ang talagang inyong pinaglalaban? Iyon na lamang ba ang natatanging paraan upang masugpo ang katiwalian at kahayupan ng mga namumuno sa bansa? Kailangan ko ng sagot.

Sabi mo lang hindi mo mapapaliwanag pa lahat ngayon. Pero alam mo at nararamdaman mong iyon ang tama. Sige. Malaki ka na. Ngunit aaminin kong hindi kita sineryoso nang sobra. Kilala na kita. Para kang ako, pabagu-bago ng desisyon. Alam ko ring naghahanap ka ng atensyon—nangangarap ka ring makilala bilang isa sa mga nagdulot ng pagbabago. Inamin mo iyon sa bestfriend mo. At sanay na rin kami sa’yong ayaw nang natatalo. O siguro kasi gusto mong makawala sa puder ng mga mapag-alaga mong magulang. Bunso ka kasi. Buti ka pa nga, alagang-alaga.

Lumipas ang ilang buwan, halos hindi ka namin nakita at nakausap. Ah, naalala ko nang huling araw ng klase bago magPasko, sumama ka sa pagdiriwang ng ating eskwelahan. Magdamag tayong magkasama. Bago tayo nagkayayaang umuwi at nagpapahinga sa may estatwang hubad, bigla mo akong tinanong tungkol sa pag-ibig mong nasira. Umiyak ka pa, nagsisisi. Sinabi kong sundin mo ang puso mo, gawin mo ang lahat kung talagang siya ang gusto mo. Kung ayaw niya ang pinasok mong gulo, dun ka mamili. Alin ang mas matimbang para sa iyo? Ngunit umiyak ka lang. Ang sagot mo,“Hindi ko alam.”

Aalis ka na.
Isang buwan bago magtapos ang klase, abalang-abala na ako sa pag-aaral at pagsusulat ng aking thesis, bigla kang nagpatawag ng kitaan sa may sunken garden. May sasabihin ka kamo. Akala ng lahat, sasabihin mong buntis ka. Ako, naramdaman ko na kung tungkol saan iyon. Pero naisip ko, hindi yun, hindi mo itutuloy yun. . .

Saksi ang mga damong inupuan natin noon sa iyong pagsasabi. Aalis ka kamo. Pupunta sa isang lugar na kailanman ay hindi namin malalaman kung saan.

Sabi mo, iyon na lamang ang natatanging paraan upang mabahagian man lang ng yaman ng bansa ang mga mahihirap na magsasaka at manggagawa. Sinabi mong walang silbi ang lahat ng ating pinag-aaralan dahil kahit makatapos tayo at guminhawa ang buhay, kaunti lang ang ating matutulungan: pamilya, mga malalapit na kaibigan, at mapalad na kung may iba pang mga hindi natin kalapit ang makakadama ng ating pagtulong. Para sa’yo, ang gagawin mo ay pagtulong sa mas nakararami.

Tinanong ka namin kung ano ang eksatong bagay na gagawin mo. Sabi mo, susuportahan niyo lang ang mga nakikipaglaban. Pero pinagmalaki mong naturuan ka nang humawak at gumamit ng M-16. Ikaw? Ikaw na hindi kumpleto ang araw nang hindi naglalagay ng kung anu-anong gamot sa iyong mukha para maiwasan ang tigyawat? Ikaw na hindi pumapayag madumihan ang katawan? Ikaw na masyadong alala sa iyong ganda? Ikaw na sa tuwing makikita naming sa rali ay nakapalda, nakatakong na mataas, nakapayong, nakapamaypay, at nakasalamin pa? Aakyat sa kanayunan at hahawak ng baril? Lahat sila’y gulat na gulat. Oo, nagulat din ako. Ngunit hindi ko masyadong ininda dahil nasabi mo na nga iyon sa akin nang una.

“Kailan ka babalik?” tanong ng bestfriend mo. “Hindi ko alam. Susubok akong mamuhay doon ng dalawa hanggang anim na buwan, kapag nakasundo ko, maaaring doon na ako mamalagi.” Unti-unting umagos ang luha ng mga kaibigan natin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako hindi. Dahil ba naiinis ako sa’yo? O dahil wala akong pakialam sa kung anuman ang gagawin mo? Napakarami kong iniisip para lamang makahabol sa graduation ng taong iyon. Tapos sasabihin mong walang silbi lahat ang aking mga pinaghihirapan? Bakit mo pinahihirapan ang mga kaibigan mo nang ganito? Hindi mo ba naisip ang iiwanan mong pamilya?

Bukas ang isipan ng mga kaibigan natin sa mga bagay na tulad nito. Hindi ka nila pinigilan. Para sa kanila, ipina-alam mo na lamang ang iyong gagawin, hindi ipina-a-lam. Iyak sila ng iyak. Ako, tahimik lang. Gusto kong sabihing nahihibang ka na. Sa tingin mo ba, makakaya ng mga baril na hahawakan ninyong patayin ang lahat ng mga kurakot at masasama sa bansang ito? Nababaliw ka na ata. Iba na rin ang paraan mo ng pagsasalita. Napakalalim na Tagalog. Para kang nasapian.

Inamin mo ring kaya mo kami nilayuan ay para mas maging madaling iwanan kami. Para hindi na masyadong maging malapit ang loob mo sa amin. Ganun din ang ginawa mo sa iyong pamilya. Ang iyong pamilya—hindi ka magpapaalam. Sabi mo, magpapabigay ka na lamang ng sulat sa isa ninyong kasamahan. Doon pa lamang, naramdaman na namin ang sakit na mararamdaman pa lamang ng iyong mga magulang at kapatid.

Aalis ka na sa loob ng linggong iyon. Ang mga kaibigan natin, tila gustong sulitin ang bawat saglit na kasama ka nila. Ako? Tiniis kita. Kailangan kong umuwi sa bahay upang tapusin ang aking thesis na deadline isang araw matapos ang iyong nakatakdang paglalayag. At umalis ka na nga. Umalis ka nang hindi ko nakikita. Inihatid ka pa raw nila. Ipinagbalot ng mga damit. Pero tiniis ko. Hindi ako nakialam. Kunwari hindi ako nakialam. Kung alam mo lang, hindi ako makapagsulat habang iniisip kong paalis ka na. Hindi ko maisip kung ano ang susunod na equation sa binubuo kong formula. Hindi ako mapakali. Gusto kong tumakbo mula bahay papunta sa iyo at pigilan ka.

Ang Pamilya mong iniwan.
Akala ko’y tapos na ang kwento. Hihintayin na lamang naming ang sulat na ipinangako mo. Pero ilang araw pa lamang pagkatapos mong umalis, tinawag ako ng iyong bestfriend at sinabing sa amin mo raw ibinilin ang sulat na ibibigay sa iyong mga magulang. Dumagdag ka na naman sa aking mga problema. Hindi mo ba talaga ako tatantanan?

Hapon noon ng Sabado, nagkita-kita kaming tatlo. Wala ang dalawa pa, abala rin sa pag-aasikaso ng kanyang nalalapit na pagtatapos. Nanginginig kaming naglakad papunta sa inyong bahay, iniisip kung ano ang panimulang linya naming sa kanila. Ayan na. Nasa harap na kami ng inyong sari-sari store. Nakita kami ng iyong ama at malugod kaming binati. Pinapasok niya kami at pinuntahan ang Mama mong nagpapalinis pa ng kanyang kuko sa paa. Napakasaya niya noon. Napakatamis ng ngiti. Kamukhang-kamukha mo. Tinanong niya kami kung nasaan ka. Bakit hindi ka naming kasama. Hindi kami makasagot. Hindi rin namin malaman kung ngingiti ba kami o ano. Sabi namin, may sulat para ka para sa kanila. Dali-dali namang binasa iyon ng iyong ina. Habang umaandar ang kanyang mga mata sa pagbabasa, nadama naming ang pagbabago sa kanyang pakiramdam. Ipinatigil niya ang pagpapalinis ng kanyang kuko at pinaalis ang manikurista.

Unti-unti siyang hiningal, tila hindi makapaniwala sa kanyang nabasa. Tinanong niya kami kung para saan ang sulat na iyon. Sagot namin, ipinabigay lang niya iyon sa amin. Umalis ka na, sabi namin. Tinawag niya ang Kuya at ang Papa mo. Panandalian kaming nahimasmasan nang biglang lumundag ang iyong kuya sa inis. Hindi rin malaman ang gagawin. Kami, gustong matawa, ngunit alam namin ang gulong aming pinasukan. Sunud-sunod na ang tanong na ibinato nila sa amin.

Ang Mama mo, umiiyak na. Ang dalawa kong kasama, umiiyak na rin. Aba, ako na naman ang natira?! Ako ang nagpaliwanag ng mga bagay na sabi mo, yun lang ang dapat naming sabihin. Halatang pigil ako sa pagsasabi ng impormasyon. Kaya sinasabi ng iyong ina, “May alam pa kayo, nakikita ko sa inyo, kaya parang awa niyo na, sabihin nyo kung nasaan ang anak ko.” Niyakap ako ng iyong ina. Tila nanghihingi ng lakas para maharap niya ang pagsubok na iyon. Doon na ako bumighay. Damang-dama ko ang paghihinagpis ng kanyang kalooban. Nawalan siya ng anak. At ang pinakamamahal pa niyang bunso ang nawala. Naging histerikal na pati ang Kuya at Papa mo. Sabi ng iyong ama, ano pang silbi ng mga paghihirap nila. Wala ka na. Ano pa nga ba? Kulang na lang ay lumupasay sa sahig ang iyong Mama. Hindi niya malaman ang gagawin. Bakit ka raw namin hinayaang umalis. Sabi namin, wala na kaming nagawa. Nagsabi ka, paalis ka na. Paulit-ulit na lamang kami sa mga paliwanag pero hindi iyon sapat upang mahapo ang pag-alab ng damdamin ng iyong pamilya.

Nagplano pa sila para sa paghahagilap sa iyo. Alam mong maraming koneksyon sa iba’t-ibang lugar ang iyong pamilya. Pero pinigilan namin sila. Delikado. Hindi ba’t yun din ang sabi mo sa amin? Huwag kaming maingay na may kakilala kaming tulad mo, at hangga’t maaari, wala na kaming pagsasabihan pang iba, kasi mapanganib. Ayaw mong madamay pa kami. Ngayon mo pa kami ayaw idamay? Ayoko nang magsalita pa.

Natapos ang usapan namin ng iyong mga magulang at Kuya sa mga katagang… “Babalitaan ninyo kami ha.” Para kaming sinalakay ng bagyo noong hapong iyon. Dumeretso kami sa mall malapit sa inyong bahay, nagpalipas ng oras, kumain, nagpahinga. Maya-maya’y tumawag ka. Ano ba talagang gusto mong mangyari? Dama naming hindi mo rin matiis ang mga taong naghirap para itaguyod ang kinabukasan mo. Nagtanong ka tungkol sa nangyari. Ang nasagot lang namin, “Tawagan mo sila, naghahanap sila ng sagot mula sa’yo.”

Hindi talaga kita maintindihan. Ang labo mo. Hindi namin natiis ang tila namatayang mga mukha ng iyong mga magulang kaya’t kinabukasan, nakipagkita kami sa iyong Kuya. Sinabi namin ang tunay na pakay mo sa pag-alis. Ngunit nanatiling lihim ang ibang mga detalye. Pagkatapos ng usapang iyon, parang naisara na ang aklat na naglalaman ng iyong kwento, bagamat may mga pahinang hindi pa rin nabasa at natiklop nang maayos.

Nakakapit ka pa rin.
Makalipas ang dalawang buwan, nakatanggap kami ng sulat mula sa iyo. Hindi ko iyon nabasa, ngunit sabi ng bestfriend mo, nagpapadala ka raw ng mga gamit doon: ang paborito mong sabon, shampoo, facial wash, conditioner, bulak, at kung anu-ano pang mga gamit pampaganda. Akala ko ba’y tinalikuran mo na ang maluhong buhay? Ahhhh. Huwag mong sabihing may hawak kang baril sa isang kamay at ang isa nama’y moisturizer ang tangan. Hindi ko masabi kung ako ba’y galit o inis o nangungulila sa iyo. Nagtatalo ang pakiramdam sa aking puso. Basta ang alam ko, umalis ka para sa bayan. Isinasama na lamang kita sa aking mga dasal. Hinihiling ko palagi sa Kanyang bantayan ka at huwag kang hayaang mapahamak. Iyon na lamang ang natatanging paraan para maabot kita. Wala nang iba.

Ngayon, normal na ang aking buhay bagamat dinadalaw pa rin ako ng mga nangyari, tulad ng araw na ito, dahil kaarawan mo. Nasaan na kaya ang laptop ng Mama mo, na tinangay mo nang umalis ka? Pati rin ang iyong cellphone, na ginamit mo pa mangilang beses noong mga unang buwan matapos ang iyong pag-alis? Sana ay hindi ko mabalitaan na lamang isang araw na isa ka sa mga nawawalang kabataan, na ang sabi nila’y pinarurusahan ng mga militar. At sana, isang araw, bumalik ka upang ipagmalaki sa aming nakamit mo ang iyong layunin. Ikuwento mo sa amin ang iyong pakikipaglaban sa mga taong sinasabi ninyong nagpapahirap sa bayan. Aasahan ko iyan, kaibigan. Mag-iingat ka palagi.

Nagmamahal,

Ang Iyong Kaibigan

The Exit Blow Out Adventures

2008-08-05T18:16:00.005+08:00

Finally, I did it.

Last Sunday, I texted my only ka-team. "Marie, wag ka nang magdala ng baon bukas. Date tayo.:)" Of course she was surprised by my invitation.

FAST FORWARD---- Monday

She was still wondering what the free lunch is for. But I know she had an idea. With Cate, my shuttle buddy, we brought Marie to KFC Dela Rosa. After tasting the Kung Pao pasta, she asked, "So Donna, bakit?" I suddenly felt butterflies flying in my stomach. Whoah! And then I gave her a big smile. I finally told her about my plan. I explained to her that I'm doing it with the idea of giving the best to my family and of getting married within ___ years. Hehehe. She advised that I tell Ms. Rose as soon as possible. Thanks, Marie, for understanding and for the prayers. . .

TUESDAY

I arrived in the office at around 8am, and Ms. Rose was already there. Hmmmm... Should I tell her na? Or, should I wait for Marie to come back from an interview with Pagsy? I was so disturbed. But I still tried to focus on my work. Lunch came and I was invited to a bible session (I think it's my 4th week already). The sharing was good. It somehow gave me more strength to face what I had to face. After that, I told Marie that we'll go out with Ms. Rose at 3pm. Whew!!!

3pm came, Marie went out first while I prepare myself to approach Ms. Rose. But then. . . she walked to the ladies' room---where Marie was! I went after her. When we got to the CR, both Marie and Ms. Rose were in the cubicle (separate cubicles ha!hehe). Marie felt that I was there, so she asked me, "Nasabi mo na kay Ms. Rose?" Haha! Ms. Rose reacted. "Baket?!" Til I said I'm inviting her to a merienda. Without her phone or wallet, she came with us.

We went to Krispy Kreme Ayala, and had donuts and coffee. We had a short chismisan, but when Ms. Rose saw me done with my donut, she said, "Oh, so ano Donna, bakit ka nanlibre?" Again, the butterflies!!!

I didn't know what to say. . . Marie even offered to tell it for me. But I was able to think of a very korni line:

"Ms. Rose, kasi ganito yun . . . May tumawag kasi last week . . . ang sabi, 'Mabuhay! Welcome to Philippine Airlines!'"

Hehehehe. She didn't get it at first. But when she finally understood what I wanted to say, she asked about my plans. So I told her my story. She told her stories too. And Marie, of course, told about her plans as well. Whew! What a relief!

Ms. Rose even gave me advices which I know I will hold on to for the rest of my life. I was guilty yet happy that I got the chance to work with a boss like her. She is so open-minded. She knows that there's no sense in stopping one person, especially as young as me, from getting what he/she deserves. Hayyyy.

Finally. I'm getting nearer to reality. I'm ready to fly! And I pray that I won't crash like a burning airplane.

Wonders of Technology: Burol Online

2008-08-04T16:49:00.002+08:00

It seems like "DISTANCE" is slowly becoming a big joke. There are so many innovations in our technology today that make us insensitive with distance.

One of these newest advancement is the e-Burol. I read about this Burol over the Web last July 24, when I was reading The Manila Times (See? I'm getting something from reading!haha.). Only one memorial chapel currently offers this service in the Philippines. In e-Burol, friends and relatives of the dead can be present in the wake 24/7 by a live video feed. Through this, those who are abroad need not to spend air fares just to be with their deceased loved one for the last time.

They said the e-Burol also aims to take away the fearful image of the dead. Let's admit it, most of us are afraid to look at the coffin. Through e-burol, the ambiance would be lighter, just like watching a horror-reality show on TV or YouTube.

Another reason why they think e-burol is perfect for Filipinos is that it is in our culture to maintain strong family ties. We (or at least most of us) value our family members, friends, and even just colleagues. So being electronically present on the last hours of the deceased here on earth would mean a lot.

See? Even after our last breath, technology works. Although actual presence will always count the most, communicating through the Web can still play its part on keeping families and friends in touch.

FYI, I passed by Quezon Avenue last Saturday, and I saw the tarpauline ad of this online burol. :)

Wednesday Post Part 3 - Worrying about Worries

2008-07-26T18:22:00.000+08:00

Since last week, reading The Manila Times has become a part of my everyday tasks. Yesh! I'm reading the newspaper! Very different me. But I am starting to enjoy it, especially when I see articles that make me smile.

This morning, I got to read Bob Garon's article on "worrying". I am too worried about so many things these days, so reading it somehow gave me some light.

He said we worry too much that we just choose not to worry about those worries anymore. We seldom get satisfied. And then we become so paranoid on what will happen the next day.

The result? Each day of our life revolves around those worries. We get stressed. We don't get to enjoy our blessings, because our minds are preoccupied with all the problems one could ever imagine to have.

---That was me for about two weeks. I was always thinking not only of my own problems, but of the problems of my family, friends, officemates, etc. Most of the times I get confused with who or what or where or when. I forgot that I am not in control of everything.

How to deal with this wrong attitude? Garon quoted a short advice from Leslie Tizard's Facing Life and Death:

" . . . to live a day at a time means to accept the happiness which each day brings without spoiling it by deploring that I may not be able to enjoy the pleasures which I supposed the years had in store for me. .."

I think this is a better version of the quote, "Do you your best and God will do the rest." And she's right. The best thing that I could do to make myself happy is to live each day of my life to the fullest and stop living only for the sake of 'tomorrow', because there's God who has His plans for me.

Hmmmm... Ok. I get it.

In God's will, everything will be in the right place.

Wednesday Post Part 2 - R.I.P. Krisel the Cat

2008-07-25T14:54:00.003+08:00

Goodbye, Krisel . . .

This is just the first time I called this cat with his real name(yup he's a he). We usually call him "Garfield," because he was fat and the color of his fur is the same as Garfield's. We also had this name for him, "Pusang may Tililing," because one time, his owner gave him a collar with bells--so every time he ran, we would hear the sound of the bells.

Krisel was a very sweet cat. I never saw him hurt anybody who tried to play with him. He liked it every time we cuddle his neck, or when we let him sleep on our lap or feet. He would roll over the floor when he enjoyed our tickles.

But there's one thing that is so unique in Krisel---he doesn't meow. For several times we saw him open his mouth and try to stretch his vocal chord, but no meow sound comes out. I don't know if he's deaf or mute, or both, or has a damaged throat.

There were also times when we saw him sleep like a human---his head moving, his legs open wide, his mouth---with saliva.Eeew. Hehehe.

Last week, we were still playing with him though we knew he had cough and cold. The next week, he left 'wastes' in our garage every morning. Until Tuesday morning, before I went to the office, I saw him looking so weak and wet. I approached him but he didn't mind me. He lied beside our washing machine. He was catching his breath. That was the last time that I saw him.

Wednesday evening, the first thing that my sister Paui told me was. . ."Ate patay na yung pusang may tililing..." That morning, they found the dead Krisel inside our neighbor's storage cabinet.

Thanks, Krisel, for cheering us up when we're stressed. You're a small but great blessing from God.

Wednesday Post Part 1 - On Preoccupations and Word of God

2008-07-23T13:23:00.007+08:00

I attended the Wednesday mass at Greenbelt Chapel this noon. This is my second Wednesday mass for July. Hhmmm... Mukhang tama nga si Father, God allows hardships to come along our lives, to somehow make us turn to Him. It's a good thing that I now have enough time to drop by the church. My load becomes lighter and lighter every time I reflect on the readings and on the priest's homilies.

The Gospel reading for today is almost the same as the Gospel in our chapel two Sundays ago--about the seeds thrown on different grounds.

Both homilies talked about how we take His Word---some of us just pass by and don't mind it; some listen to it but then forget it after a minute; some take it and understand it but don't live by it; and few receive it, understand and treasure it, live according to it, and share it with others.

Here's what I remember from Father _____'s sermon:

Our receptivity affects our fruitfulness, and
our receptivity is affected by our pre-occupations.

Preoccupations may be persons, things, happenings/events, etc. They are not bad. They are blessings, but some are cause of distraction, OR destruction.

Sometimes, because we get too preoccupied, we forget about God, and worse, we turn away from Him.

And when we are already turned away by our preoccupations, where is He now in our life?

My Reflection

I admit that right now, I don't allot much time to think about my relationship with Him, or about TOTALLY living by His word. Yes I have many "pre-occupations" right now. And I thought, hmmmm...are they turning me away from God? There are times when I am tempted, but thank God I'm still here. I know I can't have an overhaul in just one day. I want to turn my mistakes and weaknesses to goodness simultaneously with the happenings in my life. How? Secret. Hehehe.

All I know is I'm thankful that God gives me chances like this. I believe that He is just there right beside me, waiting for me to bring out my best, for Him, and for the people that I am assigned to take care of.

Late Post

2008-07-23T08:56:00.009+08:00

It's really hard if you're naturally "madaldal". You couldn't finish one post in one sitting. Hehehe.

A Duo Dance Classs, a Gig, and a DV Trip

Top Ten Reasons Why People Leave Their Jobs

2008-07-10T08:31:00.005+08:00

Got this from an officemate. Which of these apply to you? (smiles)

There are many reasons why good employees quit, most are preventable. I've identified a "Top Ten" list of reasons why people leave jobs:

1. Management demands that one person do the jobs of two or more people, resulting in longer days and weekend work.

2. Management cuts back on administrative help, forcing professional workers to use their time copying, stapling, collating, filing and other clerical duties.

3. Management puts a freeze on raises and promotions, when an employee can easily find a job earning 20-30 percent more somewhere else.

4. Management doesn't allow the rank and file to make decisions or allow them pride of ownership. A visitor to my website e-mailed me a message that said, "Forget about the "professional" decisions - how about when you can't even select the company's holiday card without the President rejecting it for one of his own taste?"

5. Management constantly reorganizes, shuffles people around, and changes direction constantly.

6. Management doesn't have or take the time to clarify goals and decisions. Therefore, it rejects work after it was completed, damaging the morale and esteem of those who prepared it.

7. Management shows favoritism and gives some workers better offices, trips to conferences, etc.

8. Management relocates the offices to another location, forcing employees to quit or double their commute.

9. Management promotes someone who lacks training and/or necessary experience to supervisor, alienating staff and driving away good employees.

10. Management creates a rigid structure and then allows departments to compete against each other while at the same time preaching teamwork and cooperation.

Interesting, isn't it, that all ten factors begin with the phrase "Management…."

Interesting, too, just how many of these high-turnover factors are preventable? My retention survey confirmed the truth of the saying,"Employees don't quit their companies, they quit their bosses." Thirty five percent of the respondents answered yes to the question, Was theattitude of your direct supervisor/manager the primary factor in your quitting a previous job?

Soft management skills-people skills - are the critical element in battling high turnover and creating a high-retention workforce or what
I call, "retentionship."

By Gregory P. Smith

Out of the Blue Letter

2008-07-09T17:51:00.001+08:00

More and more thoughts...

Use the time you have on Earth to make up for your mistakes. Let go of the things that put you down or keep you frustrated. Once or twice is enough. Learn from your mistakes.

Perfection is too far from reality. So don't be frustrated when problems arise or when you are hurt. Dreaming for a perfect happening, person, or anything is almost the same as being infatuated. And we know that infatuation is not true love. It's just loving the idea of being in love.

True love is not thinking about what would give you overwhelming pleasure. True love is about being happy when you make the person dear to you happy---happy in good ways.

Enjoy the things that you have now. Thank God for these blessings, and at the same time take care of them. "Nothing lasts forever"--we hear this statement every now and then. But living by this means treasuring those that you have now, not taking them for granted only because of your selfish desires.

Writing Rules

2008-07-09T09:00:00.002+08:00

I should have read this before I became a magazine editor. Hehehe.

Umaapaw na Araw

2008-07-08T21:48:00.006+08:00

Unang Eksena:
- Unang ginawa ko pagdating ko sa opisina: tinignan ko ang blog ko at nakita kong may nag-comment sa post ko tungkol kay Dr. Efren Abueg. Ini-link daw niya ako sa kanyang blog--Mga Nobelang Atisan. Nalaman ko na lamang na naikwento niya ang karanasan ko sa post niya! Nakakatuwa. At isa rin syang tanyag na alagad ng panitikang Filipino. Ako'y lubos na natutuwa, napa-Tagalog tuloy ako.

Ikalawang Eksena:
- Seryoso akong nakatutok sa aking kompyuter nang maramdaman kong umalog ang aking lamesa nang ilang beses, malakas, at pati ang pader sumunod din sa galaw. Bigla na lamang sumigaw ang boss ko ng, "Lumilindol!" Napatahimik ang lahat at inantay ang susunod na mangyayari. Ngunit hanggang duon na lamang ang pagyugyog. Medyo nahilo ako dahil tila naiwan ang ulo ko.

Ikatlong Eksena:
- May nag-imbita sa akin para sa isang maikling usapan noong tanghalian. Akala ko'y isa lamang itong pagbabahagi tungkol sa buhay buhay. Ngunit ito pala'y tungkol sa ugnayan ko sa Maykapal. Wala akong masabi.

Ikaapat na Eksena:
- Meron pa nga ba? Ang alam ko lang, napagod ang utak ko sa araw na ito at gusto kong matulog. Hehehe.

Meeting a Novelist

2008-07-07T22:21:00.003+08:00

This afternoon, an old man broke the silence in our office. He sat about three meters away from me. He sounded excited as he said, "Oh, lagay mo dyan, ....Street, Philam Village, Las Pinas. Sa may Starmall." He caught my attention since that address is near our home. "Who is that?" I asked Marie, my officemate. "Dr. Abueg," she softly answered.

Dr. Abueg. . . Hmmm. that name sounds familiar. He's a Filipino writer. And I saw his name in some of our textbooks. But I couldn't remember what exactly the title of his writings are. Basta. I feel it. He's one of Philippines' greatest.

The next thing I knew, I had turned away my head from the computer screen and listened to his stories. He was talking to our manager. Then, Ms. Rose saw me looking at them. So she introduced me to Dr. Abueg. She said I might call him one day and talk about work and everything. We even shook hands! Hehehe. I didn't say any word---I just gave him my super smile. Starstruck!

Dr. Abueg continued his stories, talked about how he tries to learn about blogging and other new stuffs, so he could incorporate these things in his works. He also told us that he thinks he's too old for adventures, because the last time he insisted not to take the driver with him in a workshop, he had cough for five days! And after that, his wife also got sick--"Hindi na tuloy beautiful.Pero pag tumaba ulit yun, beautiful ulit. Siyempre hindi ko papakasalan yun kung hindi yun beautiful!" He also admitted that half of his life--he spent with work. And he hates it when his wife leads their arguments to that conclusion. He talked about many things---how his group works to inspire young talents to continue their love for writing, how he thinks that this young, arrogant writer would be like if he continues to reject the seniors' criticisms, etc.

He was able to tell all those stories in less than an hour! After Ana, the brand specialist, told him about the invitation to judge one of our magazine's poetry and short story writing competition, he stood up and said bye-bye.

I was just so overwhelmed that such a great man came by and shook hand with me. Now I plan to look for his writings in my old Filipino books, and be inspired to love Philippine literature more.

Reaching the Finish Line

2008-07-07T10:30:00.007+08:00

One of my last articles for Tatsulok. . .

Have you ever joined any game—either a sport or a party game or even just an assigned task, where in you have to get to the finish line? How does it feel to touch the line that represents the end of the race? How good is the feeling when you finish first? Did you see others happy for you?

Life is just like any other race. We have to run and fight until the end of the track, not just once but in several numbers of laps. We cannot just stop at the middle for any lousy excuse. If we give up that easy, we would not accomplish anything. We would not be able to achieve our goals. Worse, we might pull the other racers and make them give up too.

It’s not also enough to just run like we’re the only one taking the circuit. There are other racers who are aiming for the same goal. If we act slowly without determination, we might reach the finish line but everybody has gone home already. The race is already over.

Lastly, achieving your goal, even with your best effort and attitude, will be nothing if we would spend the feeling alone. We have friends and loved ones who are there to support us—and who will always be there to take the track with us.

Lumang Tula

2008-07-05T10:43:00.004+08:00

I don't know if I would feel proud or embarrassed when I saw this short poem in my files. I just want to laugh at myself using this very straight-to-the-point mushy Tagalog words. Hehehe.

I couldn't remember what exactly made me write this, all I know is that it's about Yui, the Lonely Boracay guy whom I miss.

Kalian kaya kita muling makikita?
Babalik ka ba pa, aking sinta?
Lubos na ang aking pangungulila,
Kaytagal na nang huling mayakap ka.

Dinala mo ang mga pangarap ko,
Pinangako mong hindi ako mabibigo.
Ngunit hanggang kalian tayo ganito,
Bundok at dagat ang sa ati’y naglalayo?

Baunin mo ang aking pag-ibig,
Alam Niya ang tunay kong damdamin.
Hihintayin ko ang muli mong pag-uwi,
Sasalubungin kita ng matamis kong ngiti.

A Duo Dance Class, a Gig and a DV Trip

2008-06-29T09:33:00.009+08:00

Friday, June 27

The Diwa Babes

get your own mp3 music codes at www.mp3-aja.com
It was the last session of our Sexy Hiphop Class at Studio 116. Like our first month in that class, the last day is the "most special"--we complete the steps (only for half of the song) and we get to show off our best on the 'showdown.' But that doesn't seem to be the case last friday.

Gracie and I arrived at the studio minutes before 6:30. Michelle and his dance (and real-life partner, yihee!) were already there. After few minutes of my story-telling, Michelle called us for the warm-up. We entered the Soft room and started stretching our tendons. It's only me, Gracie, and Michelle.

A group of girls came and watched how the class goes while Emman, the staff, explained stuffs about the studio. We're done with our stretching, no classmates showed up.

So Michelle reviewed us on the steps that she thought in the previous sessions. Hmmmm. Gracie and Donna on the go! Did about 5 rounds, still, no classmates showed up.

Our sexy teacher decided to proceed with the lesson even without our classmates. The room seemed too big for us!
When finally the minute hand of the clock hit 6 (it's 7:30!), we had our "showdown." I did the routine first--I messed up in the last part! Then Gracie. I wanted to cheer for her but I felt I'd look like a stage sister, watching the one-on-one jazz class of her sis. Hahaha! It's confirmed. Our classmates won't be coming.

But, it's fun!(Do you agree, Gracie?) And we're looking forward to joining the recital in October!

Headbanger Donski

Melba and James invited me to a gig at Freedom Bar--"A 'ROCK' Concert". It's a fundraising event for one of the members of Sanlakas (James's group), Rhodz, who needs to undergo a kidney transplant. Gemz, my officemate, came with me after my dance class. Here I go again, nonstop extracurriculars!

I didn't have any idea where exactly Freedom Bar is until I got there. It was a small, beginner bands' venue on the 2nd floor of a not-so-new commercial building along Anonas.

I kinda felt scared when I saw groups of young guys in the area. Well, good thing we're with James-the big man! Hehe. When we entered the bar, a lady in black shirt was on the stage, thanking people. Oh, it was Rhodz. She doesn't look sick at first glance, but when you get to observe her eyes and complexion, you can say that there's something wrong with her health.

But, she is very lucky to have friends and colleagues supporting her fight against sickness.

I thought Gemz will not enjoy Rock music...but with FMD's bitter-love songs, hmmmm. Hehehe. According to her, she had fun.

I like FMD band... their vocalist is SUPER ENERGETIC. My fave song of theirs is "Bato", a song about illegal drugs:

Tignan nyo si Nora, Nainggit kay Angel at Vilma

Gusto niya ring maging si Darna

Kaya ayun . . .

Sumubo ng Bato.

I'm not sure if I get the lyrics right. I hope I could get a copy of their CD someday.

The last band who performed--Toyo, was also fun. Mabuhay ang Pinoy Rock!

Actually, the it's the second time that I saw FMD and Toyo. The first time was, according to James, almost exactly a year ago. It was a concert calling for free supply of water for the people.

Basta. We enjoyed the night. :)

Saturday, June 28

Starting Out a Business

Finally, my creative shop,maARTeh, has reached the real world.

It was originally a tie up of Lhen, Ate Jo, and myself. But because of some circumstances, we had to set it aside and do the 'more important things'. Just this year, I ended up pursuing the business with Yayi, Em, and Jr--the power of four Ms--Madonna, Meynard, Mayette, and Mervin! Oh di ba. We just got one problem---we don't have a portfolio, and we don't have any project yet.

Thanks to Gladdys, my officemate, who trusted in our talent! She's getting married in October.

One day at the office, she mentioned about her invitations. She didn't know where to go, until I joked--"Ako na lang gagawa, gusto mo?" I offered to make her invitations, souvenir tags, and misalettes--in exchange of an opportunity to start a portfolio and to advertise our shop. And Gladz agreed. Yehey!

So we went to Divisoria to buy the materials. We walked from 168 mall to Binondo, then to Tabora, and then back to 168. Whew! Fortunately, we found almost everything we need to buy---parchment paper, glue (which didn't work!!), and abacca mat. Using abacca in the invitations is not in our original plan. But since we couldn't find the exact color of specialty paper that we wanted, we opted to use abacca, which costs almost the same as specialty paper. It looks cool. And it fits the "spring beach" theme (my idea!hehehe) of Gladz's wedding. I'll post our works once we're done with them!

The Titanic of Today

2008-06-26T16:02:00.004+08:00

They boarded the big ship with all their excitement. But their celebrating hearts were wiped out, in just one blink.

Yesterday morning, I was rush-reading the Statistics book I'm evaluating when I saw the news on TV: Relatives of the victims of MV Princess of the Star becoming hysterical and emotional. One of them even climbed up the tower at the pier to get the attention of the Sulpicio Lines administration.

It has been five days since the tragedy happened, but most of the expecting relatives haven't heard any clear and detailed update about their loved ones. They're crying their hearts out, blaming Sulpicio Lines for the heavy load that they are carrying right now.

I can't blame them. They said they are not expecting that their missing loved ones are still alive. But at least they want to see the deceased bodies--just to be with them for one last time.

I almost cried while looking and listening at their grief. I was like watching a modern version of Titanic. . . More than 700 lives were already taken by the raging waters of Romblon. Since Sunday, about 100 bodies were recovered--some were already burried at different islands and towns, and around 70 survivors were rescued.

What will happen next? Are there still survivors? WIll they be able to recover all the bodies trapped inside the ship? Natural disasters are already coming--we cannot stop that. It's in nature and God's control. I only pray that no typhoons will come again until everybody totally gets over with this tragedy. I hope that we'd start learning from our mistakes in the past and start anew by turning those mistakes into good things.

Photo credits:

http://www.stuff.co.nz

http://www.huffingtonpost.com

http://www.smh.com.au

New Page Layout for My Blog

2008-06-23T08:41:00.008+08:00

I don't know what energy the rain has but every time it's raining, I can work on my stuffs--my artworks, etc, etc. Oh, I get it. When it's raining, it's cold. And when it is cold, not too much of my body energy is released. And because I'm someone who has a very high level of energy, I have to keep on doing activities to use up that overflowing force in me. Ok. Enough.

Yesterday, I just tried to upgrade my blog template. I feared that I might not achieve its old look again, good thing I managed to do the editing correctly.

Now it's easier for me to add elements on my page. Here are the changes:

Header: no need to put a "repeat" attribute on the header image. It's now one whole image. trio.trio.trio.

Sidebar:
The "Previous Posts" list is gone. The Blog Archive now has a drop down list for each year and month.

I added a list of the blogs that I frequently read. It's cool that I get to see the latest updates on those blogs!
I also modified the list of my friends' blogs. The list shows the title and date of their latest post.
Link To Older Posts: JR asked about this last time. He wondered why I didn't have this link before. Here it is!

So that's it. I'll be working on a new header--this time a more girly look.flowers.flowers.flowers.Hehehe.

Movies Movies

2008-06-15T10:17:00.009+08:00

Donna, the movie-goer? I just thought, I've watched four movies in less than a month?! That's very unusual. Hehehe. Hmmm. Magtipid! magtipid!!!

Sex and the City (May 31)
- loved how broken hearts found their way back to pick up the pieces and united with the one they really love.

The Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian (June 8)
- "two things never happen exactly the same way."

Kung Fu Panda (June 10)
- "The secret ingredient is . . . 'nothing.'

Incredible Hulk (June 14)

-Too bad Bruce could not get excited (Elizabeth: "Even a little excited?"). Hehehe.

I don't really write movie reviews so I'll stop here.

Flowers Speak

2008-06-05T01:00:00.002+08:00

One night (or two nights?) after I received a very special bouquet, I played around with my siblings. Looking crazy. Hehehe.

I'm a flower addict. It is actually one of my weaknesses. Give me any flower, even a chain of sampaguita, and I will do nothing else but smile.

For me, flowers are like letters, e-mails, or text messages--they tell what one's heart wants to say. Here are the close-ups of some of the flowers and their meanings.
Grrrr. I don't like Tatay's cam. Dull.

Gerbera Daisies

Gerbera is the fifth most popular flower in the world.
It can mean innocence, purity, and cheerfulness.
Gerbera dasies have large daisy variations that come in a number of vibrant colors.
It is also a classic symbol of beauty.
It holds an added meaning of cheerfulness, which stems from the assortment of colors available.
An assorted bouquet of gerbera daisies can lift the spirit and sending one is an ideal way to brighten someone’s day.

Pink Roses

Above all, roses are a symbol for love and gratitude.
Rose was the most prevalent among the old garden roses so it was most strongly associated with sentiments about love.
Light pink roses are associated with gentleness and admiration.
It can also be used as an expression of sympathy.
Roses also now carry a connotation of grace and elegance, as well as sweetness and poetic romance.
Rose signifies grace, gladness, joy, perfect happiness, please believe me, gratitude, admiration, gentility

Stargazer Lilies

Stargazer Lily is known as the floral celebrity.
Stargazer Lilies have heavenly fragrance.
They are young, bold, beautiful, and dramatic.
The lily family has traditionally represented innocence and purity.
Motifs of lilies appeared as far back as ancient Greek and Roman civilizations and reappeared in biblical traditions.
White stargazer lilies have come to characterize a sense of purity and are often used as an expression of sympathy, while the pink varieties are considered symbolic of wealth and prosperity, as well being as a sign of aspiration.
It means daydreamer, pure of heart, Heaven in your eyes, congratulations.

Baby's Breath

Innocence

Got the meanings from:

www.proflowers.com/flowerguide/flowermeanings/default.aspx?ref=organicgglgeneric

http://valentinesday.about.com/od/flowers/a/flowermean_3.htm

www.flowershopnetwork.com/pages/meanings/index_Q_R.php

Let's Have Some "Top 10"

2008-06-03T21:05:00.004+08:00

Gracie posted this on SF's egroup, natuwa lang ako. Here it is (plus side comments.hahaha.)

Magandang pampawala ng stress: Chico and Delamar's Top 10

March 14, 2008 → The Top Ten Tips On Finding True Love

Kulit Nia/Mads - “Love is not blind. It sees, but it doesn’t mind.” - tama!
No name - Try tearing your anterior cruciate ligament on your knee and go to the emergency room. That’s where I met my one true love.
Frenchboy - If you’re lookin for love, don’t do it in a bar. Trust me, the only type of guy you’ll find there, is my kind. And you wouldn’t want that!
No name - From “Capt. Corelli’s Mandolin”: “Love is what’s left when all the lust and passion is gone.” -seryoso!
Loipogi - “Walang lalaking bakla sa babaeng nakatihaya!” -really?
Bongoloid - From A Danny De Vito movie: “Assumption is the mother of all f*ck-ups.”
MNEMONIC - “Love is not finding someone to go to bed with, but finding someone you want to wake up with in the morning.” - I think I got a text like this from Yayi, but with a twist on the end, " . . . Naked!-ganun din!"
Pointlessmike - Sa kuwarto nalang magkaka-alaman kung true love yan!-Naah.
Jedi Mstr - It’s true love if he lets you be in charge of the remote control. -Sobra naman to.
Espeks - Naghintay ka na rin lang, maghintay ka pa.
Dongster - Go to Quezon Ave. corner Timog and pay for some true love.
Loipogi - Kung hindi ukol, hindi bubukol. At pag bumukol…may baby ka after nine months.- Toinks.
KRISEL JUNE - Sabi nga ng bestfriend ko, “Magpaganda ka at magpakasaya, lalapit din yang true love na yan.”- Yes!
Powerful Alice - Mag-novena kay St. Jude.
KiD BuKid - You’ve found your true love if she tells you, “Ako pa nga ang dapat magbayad sa ‘yo eh.”
Darielle Girl - Stand in front of a full length mirror at midnight, during a Friday the 13th, with a candle in one hand, and chant, “Salamin, salamin, ipakita ang para sa akin!”
Louise - Stop over-analyzing things.
Coachdanny - Fate could bring you together, but it’s both your choice if you want to stay for the long haul. - Oo nga naman.
JP - When you graduate from “wanting to be with her”, to “cannot live without her”. -Talaga?
Chammy - Drop the paranoia. Stop bugging yourself by asking questions like, “Is she the one?” or “Will she hurt me?”. It just kills the romance. -Killing it softly.
Kites - Allow yourself to be surprised by the Universe. -I'm Miss Universe!
Kikhai - You know you found true love if you keep falling in love over and over with the same person.
Marianne - True love also means letting go of the person you love, no matter how painful, if it’s for the best. - :(
No name - Loosen up a bit and don’t be afraid to get hurt, because remember, love is a gamble. - a high risk one.
Espeks - Look for someone you can have conversations with until you both grow old. - Seryoso ulit.
Loipogi - True love knows no size. Maliit nga, pero umiikot namang parang elysee - winner pa rin! -Winner nga!
Chicago - When you still long for your ex, even after spending the rest of your life with your wife. - Ouch.
Morenang Kaligatan - Accept the fact that no matter how hot and smart you may be, that really cute guy will never notice you, if he prefers other cute guys.

Beng Beng Everywhere

2008-06-02T19:25:00.003+08:00

The RCBC Massacre, Calamba massacre, hold-up here, shootout there. Hay. Why do many Filipinos nowadays seem to enjoy using guns---to shoot innocent people, to end lives of individuals full of hopes and dreams?

Is it just because of poverty? Or is it the survival instict of human? Or the the playful ideas created by media and information technology? Or the power of the bad angels of Lucifer?

I'm just wondering if my future family would live in a world full of violence, or worse, a world of evils. I hope not. I don't want to see myself choosing not to let "my children" experience even one string of breath in my womb just to keep them away from harm.

Friday Night Hilu-hilo

2008-05-30T22:21:00.001+08:00

No I wasn't drunk! I only had one bottle and half of Gemz' drink plus a sip of frozen margarita. But I think my alcohol tolerance is really super low. Got a little tipsy after two glasses so I tried to release the 'tama' by making everything so funny. I laughed out loud and told my stories nonstop. Buwahahaha.

After one bucket of Sanmig Lights and bunch meal (sisig, sinigang, barbecue, fried noodles), they said we're going home. I didn't want to yet because it was only 9.30. But the worried-about-hold-ups-during-payday girl Agnes and sleepy bitter Gemz were on a rush. Hayy. Ok. I think I should go home anyway---I could barely stand straight from my seat. Mark (Gracie's husband-to-be) couldn't help but laugh and instructed Gracie to walk with me. Hihihi.

Oh well. Night life is what I've been missing this past few months.

So we went home. Ooops, but I still rode the jeep to Blumentrit so Agnes wouldn't go home alone. I realized that I am also missing Taft--Vito Cruz, Pedro Gil, and Lawton--the Post Office, the FX terminal.

My Savage Heart

2008-05-29T16:06:00.006+08:00

Crash and Burn by
Savage Garden

More music@MP3-mania.com!

On Getting Hitched

2008-05-29T09:02:00.008+08:00

The secret of a good marriage:

INWARD, OUTWARD, UPWARD love.

INWARD--Love yourself. Eat on time. Sleep enough. In other words, take care of yourself. But loving yourself is not the same as being selfish.

OUTWARD--Love others as you love yourself. Take care of other people. "Awayin mo na'ng lahat, 'wag lang ang biyenan mo. Ipagluto mo siya, dalhan mo ng pasalubong, katulad ng pagmamahal mo sa iyong asawa. Mahalin mo siya nang todo, makikita mo, mamahalin ka rin niya ng buung-buo."

UPWARD--Let your love be under the grace of God. If you don't love God, then your love for yourself and for others are meaningless.

A forwarded text message says:

GOD: "No man can ever claim you unless he claims you from me. I reserved a man for you who has my heart and loves me even more than he will love you. I won't give unless he asks you from me. Soon you will know him, I have the perfect time. You're my PRINCESS, my daughter. Let no prince claim you unless he asks you from my hand. For I am your Father, the KING of kings."

get your own mp3 music codes at www.mp3-aja.com

Shutdown

2008-05-27T00:01:00.009+08:00

Strike three;

Foul out;

Failing mark;

Resignation;

Flush out;

Overflow;

Loss;

Grievance;

Burning;

Confusion;

Crossroad;

Life;

Death;

Moving on;

Retake;

Absolute;

Absence;

Tragedy;

Troubleshoot;

Shoot out;

Corruption;

Pain;

Happiness;

Explosion;

Slope;

Signing Off.

get your own mp3 music codes at www.mp3-aja.com

Sunday Blues

2008-05-26T00:52:00.008+08:00

Every Little Thing - Dishwalla

Let me in
to see you in the morning light
to get me on and all along the tears they come
see all come
I want you to believe in life
but I get the strangest feeling that you've gone away
will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
all the time,
some times
lift me up
just lift me up don't make a sound
and let me hold you up before you hit the ground
see all come
you say your all right
but I get the strangest feeling
that you've gone away- you've gone away
and will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
all the time
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted
all the time some times
Don't give me up
don't give me up tonight
or soon nothing will be right at all
salvation will you find out who you are too late to change?
I wish I could be every little thing you wanted

Try It On My Own - Whitney Houston

I'm wiser now
I'm not the foolish girl you used to know
So long ago
I'm stronger now
I've learned from my mistakes which way to go
And I should know
I put myself aside to do it your way
But now I need to do it all alone
And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'll keep it real you know
Time for me to do it on my own
Yeah yeah, mmm, yeah yeah
It's over now
I can't go back to living through your eyes
Too many lies
And if you don't know by now
I can't go back to being someone else
Not anymore
I never had a chance to do things my way
So now it's time for me to take control
And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what Im gonna keep it real you know
Time for me to do it
Oh I start again go back to one
I'm running things my way
Can't stop me now, I've just begun
Don't even think about it
There ain't no way about it
I'm taking names, the ones of mine
Yes I'm gonna take my turn
It's time for me to finally stand alone, stand alone
I am not afraid to try it on my own
And I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'm gonna keep it real you know
It's time for me to do it
See I'm not afraid

Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

I don't wanna lose you,
I don't wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door
But there''s a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Now I could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
And there's no way home
When it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where I used to lay
And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.

Light and Shade - Fra Lippo Lippi

He will paint the light and shades
The colours and the trees
He will climb the steepest hill
Believing what he sees
He will lay down on the ground
Beneath the old oak tree
He will sleep foreverIf you try to set him free
Sail on the wings of a cloud
Where to, well nobody knows
And cry, cry if you want them to see
Die every day to be free
Be proud to wear the colours that you call your own
Be loud, speak out when you want the world to know
Be strong, hold the flame for everyone to see
Be weak, if you want to love.
He will paint the endless sea.
A mystery to me
He will reach out for the sun,
Not dreaming what he sees
He will fall down on his knees
Angel touching ground
Takes him to the other side
Sweet love is coming down.
Sail on the wings of a cloud
Where to, well nobody knows
And cry, cry if you want them to see
Die every day to be free
Be proud to wear the colours that you call your own
Be loud, speak out when you want the world to know
Be strong, hold the flame for everyone to see
Be weak, if you want to love.

Dreaming at Dencio's Part II

2008-05-25T09:18:00.005+08:00

get your own mp3 music codes at www.mp3-aja.com

I'm staring out into the night,
trying to hide the pain
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain

Well, I'm going home
back to the place where I belong
where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from,
no, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home
Well I'm going home

The miles are getting longer, it seems
The closer I get to you
And I've not always been the best man and friend for you
But your love it makes true
and I don't know why
You always seem to give me another try

So I'm going home
back to the place where I belong
where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from,
no, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old

Be careful what you wish for
'cause you just might get it all
you just might get it all
and then some you don't want
be careful what you wish for
'cause you just might get it all
You just might get it all

So I'm going home
back to the place where I belong
where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from,
no, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home
I'm going home

Red Moon

2008-05-24T10:28:00.006+08:00

--------------------------------------------------------
"He has been very cruel to me. He keeps on telling me that I don't deserve any attention--because I'm wasted. I'm afraid to tell him that I want to leave him, because he once threatened me that he would kill me and our family if I do that."

"There's this man who appreciates me. I thought I was just looking for a friend but I think I've already fallen for him. The only problem is, we couldn't fight for what we feel. I am married with a notorious guy. He, on the other hand, has already submitted himself to the church. I just wish the right time would come for us."

--------------------------------------------------------

"He told me I'm the one he loves and not the mother of his daughter, who just went abroad to work. A day after we went out for a date, he revealed a news: their having a second baby. But he insisted that i am the one. Will I believe him? Do I deserve this?"

---------------------------------------------

"Hey, please tell boss I'm not going to the office today. I feel sick. . . Actually, I was crying all night. He broke up with me. I did not expect it. It is really painful."

"Please don't tell our friends about this. Please."

"You've seen us that afternoon, right? He's still sweet. Then he did that. I swallowed my pride and went to his place. I waited for hours. When he finally got home, I thought we're gonna talk about our problem. But he pushed me away. I told him I will only leave if he would tell me that he doesn't love me anymore. And he did tell me. Without thinking twice. That's it."

"I need someone to talk to. Please. Thanks."

"You know I'm not getting any younger. At my age, I'm already looking for someone who could see himself spending his life with me. I don't know. I'm lost. I gave my all. But he dumped me."

"You're right. He's planned for this. And he found his last day in our office to be the best time to do it. He gave back my pic. And it was from our back-to-back laminated grad pics. If everything came up to his mind only at that moment, he wouldn't have time to re-laminate my grad pic again."

"I will try to move on. Yes I still love him. So much that all these tears are falling down from my eyes right now."
--------------------------------------------------------

Dreaming at Dencio's

2008-05-24T09:55:00.013+08:00

get your own mp3 music codes at www.mp3-aja.com

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll out of bed and down on your knees
and for a moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here
Is she standing in my room?
No, she's not
cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
then all at once you have to say goodbye
wondering could you stay my love
will you wake up by my side?
No, she can't
cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my, roses in my hands?
Would you get them if I did?
No, you won't
Cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
the waking up is the hardest part.

Q.E.D.

2008-05-21T20:00:00.017+08:00

Realize: Colbie Colliat

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I,
Didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
if we missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you
But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
if we missed out on each other now.

It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder

Just realize what I just realized
If you just realize what I just realized
missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now
Realize, realize
realize, realize

Hate that I Love You: Rihanna and Neyo

That's much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand ya
Most everything you do
Make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile
Cuz' you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss... and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oooh whoah...)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh...)
And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why (why...)
And it just ain't right
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah...)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...
And I hate that I loveYou soooooooo!
As much I love you (as much as I need you oh...)
As much as I need you (oooh... as so much I love you)
As much I love you (oh...)
As much as I need you
And I hate that I love you soooo
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need ya (cant stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no...)
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate that I love you so... soo...

Signal Fire: Snow Patrol

The perfect words never crossed my mind,
'cause there was nothing in there but you,
I felt every ounce of me screaming out,
But the sound was trapped deep in me,
All I wanted just sped right past me,
While I was rooted fast to the earth,
I could be stuck here for a thousand years,
Without your arms to drag me out,

There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close 'cause I need you to guide me to safety
No I won't wait forever
No I won't wait forever

In the confusion and the aftermath,
You are my signal fire,
The only resolution and the only joy,
Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes,

There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,

There you are standing right in front of me
All this fear falls away to leave me naked,
Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,
No I won't wait forever
No I won't wait forever
No I won't wait forever

Forget About Me: Little Bit

You said it wasn't
Gonna be like It was before
Then it happened again
Pushing me back
Out the door
Thought it would be
For real this time
Love me forget
About the signs
So now what do I do
Now, that I know
That we're through
Wish that I Could move on
Can't let go It's too strong
Just like that
And then you're gone
Is this how You wanted it to be
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears
Right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape
The misery
Why don't you love me
The way I loved you
It feels so crazy
Cause I dunno
What I did to you
If you're gonna hurt me
Then do it quickly
Cause I'm tired of cryin'
If you don't wanna
Stick around
Then, baby Forget about me
Too late, sorry
I didn't even Have the chance
You said you were happy
Baby I don't understand
Gave you everything You asked for
And was ready To give you a lot more
I would've given The world
Right in the palm Of your hand
Wish that I Could move on
Can't let go It's too strong
Just like that
And then you're gone
Is this how
You wanted it to be
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears Right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape
The misery
Boy My heart was true
And that you can't deny
Don't be a fool
And walk away
From all the lies
It's up to you
Cause heaven knows I've tried
Tell me You're still in love
Yeahhhh Ohh
Forget about me
Forget about me
Oh, baby, oh

Sorry: Buckcherry

Oh I had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
This time I think I'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry baby, Yeah.
I'm sorry.

Tired of Being Sorry: Enrique Iglesias

I don't know why
You want to follow me tonight
When in the rest of the world
With you whom I've crossed and I've quarreled
Lets me down so
For a thousand reasons that I know
To share forever the unrest
With all the demons I possess
Beneath the silver moon
Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
Chandler and Van Nuys
With all the vampires and their brides
We're all bloodless and blind
And longing for a life
Beyond the silver moon
Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees me
But the silver moon
So far away - so outer space
I've trashed myself - I've lost my way
I've got to get to you got to get to you
Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees meBut the silver moon
Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees me
But the silver moon

Over You:Daughtry

Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I felt as if I was in way to deep
Guess I let you get the best of meeee
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say,
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of other’s opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for meee
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
And I never saw it coming
I should have started running
I’m finally getting better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!
The day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you…

Simple Love: Alison Krauss

Little yellow house sittin' on a hill
That is where he lived
That is where he died
Every Sunday morning
Hear the weeping willows cry
Two children born
A beautiful wife
Four walls and livin's all he needed in life
Always giving, never asking back
I wish I had a simple love like that
I want a simple love like that
Always giving, never askin' back
For when I'm in my final hour lookin' back
I hope I had a simple love like that
My momma was his only little girl
If he'd had the money he'd have given her the world
Sittin' on the front porch together they would sing
Oh how I long to hear that harmony
I want a simple love like that
Always giving never asking back
When I'm in my final hour looking back
I hope I had a simple love like that
I want a simple love like that
Always giving never asking back
When I'm in my final hour looking back
I hope I had a simple love like that.

Tattoo: Jordin Sparks

No matter what you say about love,
I keep coming back for more,
Keep My head in the fire,
sooner or later I get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn everytime I bleed
The truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger
I gotta let my spirit be free
To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing is broken
No need to worry about everything
I've done Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I love you once needed protection
You´re still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you
I'll always have you sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
when I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think I could stop
Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind
sorry but I've gotta be strong and leave you behind
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing is broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I love you once needed protection
You´re still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you
I'll always have you
If I live every moment,
It won't change every moment,
Is still a part of me in you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you marks everything I do. oooh..
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing is broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I love you once needed protection
You´re still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing is broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I love you once needed protection
You´re still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo,
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you

Stronger Woman: Jewel

I guess you could say I’m one of those girls
That’s always been with one of those guys
You know the type
Like right now, he sleeps while I write
But it’s better than crying
I’m worn out from trying
From loving a man who always makes it clear
I’m not welcome here
Just till he’s horny and hungry
or needs something cleaned
And you know what I mean
But not tonight
‘Cause come the morning light, oh
I’m gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can’t see
The stronger woman in me
I’m going to be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
Won’t lose myself again, never, no,
‘Cause there’s a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me
Light bulbs buzz, I get up
And head to my drawer
I wish there was more
I could say
Another fairytale fades to gray
I’ve lived on hope
Just like a child
Walking that mile
Faking that smile
All the while
Wishing my heart had wings
Well tonight, I’m going to be
The kind of woman
I’d want my daughter to be, oh
I’m gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can’t see
There’s a stronger woman in me
I’m gonna be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
I won’t lose myself again, never, no
‘Cause there’s a stronger woman,
A stronger woman
This is me, packing up my bags
And this is me, headed for the door
And this is me, the best you ever had
I’m going to love myself
More than anyone else
Believe in me even if someone cannot see
There’s a stronger woman in me
I’m going to be my own best friend
Stay with me till the end
Won’t lose myself again, never, no
‘Cause there’s a stronger woman
A stronger woman
There’s a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me,Yeah…

Fill in the Blanks

2008-05-20T17:11:00.004+08:00

I am very much_________.
I don't know ________________.
I feel like I'm ________.
I see __________.
And I do not ______________.
But this is _______.
There are still ____________________________,
Who _______.
And, _________.
He's _____________________.
Please ______________________________.
I am _____.
I want to be ____.
Anyway, I can manage to _______________.
But I can't ______________________________.

Dancing La La La

2008-05-19T16:00:00.007+08:00

Everybody's dancing on the dance floor as one of our schoolmates leads us. Hiphop mixed with ballroom dancing: all of us are getting along with the steps and the music. It feels good, even if I'm having a hard time dancing with slippers. :D

I was Ms. Sexyback last Friday in PDTA's recital, at Ayala Hall of Makati Sports Club. It was my first time to be part of a recital--a dance recital. It turned out to be great. And we felt the uniform beat that the people in our school, Studio 116, have.

Maybe for those who have known me for years, dancing is not really my main thing. I only used to dance in school for fun, or when we needed to represent our school (high school) in events and competitions. I can follow dance steps. But I'm not the total performer type who would really stand out among the others.

Now, I dare myself to improve the way I groove. I challenge me to appreciate the art of dancing.

Last April, I enrolled in Sexy Hiphop 1 class at Studio 116 for a number of reasons. My statement above are two of those. I wanted to find an output for all the stress I'm getting from work. I wanted to be more SEXY. Yes, SEXY. My goal is to put a little fat in my thighs and waist, and then tone it through exercise. I don't want to go to Slimmer's or any gym because I'm afraid of blowing up like a balloon if I stop working out. I think it's also more enjoying to see myself sway with some music than just jogging or carrying weights.

My dance card consisted of only four sessions, but Gracie and I decided to join the recital for more thrill. Right after the fourth session, we practiced everyday for almost one whole week. Whew. It's been more than a year since I last spent late nights on the street due to nonlovelife activities. Hehehe. I have to mention that.

Because of my procrastination and laziness, I was not able to prepare for my costume until the day before the recital came. I bought cheap blouses at Landmark but still opted to wear my sister's open-back blouse. Too bad I was not able to buy dangling silver earrings and head accessory (a cap, headband, whatever).

D' DAY: I really didn't know what to expect. I hadn't seen the venue yet because of that CRAZY meeting we had on the Wednesday before the recital. In the afternoon, I had to meet with my Tatay to borrow his DVcam. Call time was 5pm. It was almost 5:30 but there's no taxi! So I walked from Dela Rosa to Valero and met with Gracie. We ate for a while in Paseo Center, and then headed off to Makati Sports Club. We arrived at around 6:15pm.

One more thing!!! My fans--Ness, Paui, and Ken were late! I told them to be at my office at 5pm sharp. But at 4pm, they were still in Las Piñas! Waaaah. So I just had to let them go to the venue all by themselves. Well, they're old enough. Hehehe.

Gracie and I saw almost all of our schoolmates done with their make-ups. So we rushed to the restroom and fixed ourselves. Whoah! In less than 30 minutes, I was able to put on my costume, accessories, and make-up. Grabe!

I just saw myself wearing the smallest earrings among the "sexy hiphopers". Hahaha. Anyway. My fans arrived so I bought tickets for them and for Nanay---who told me she was already on her way. We had a run-through on the dance floor. I really felt so nervous that I couldn't keep my fingers from trembling. It's just practice. I can do it!!!

We had few minutes of picture-taking inside the dressing room until the moment came... Studio 116 on the go!!!

The kids, the teenagers, the young ladies, the instructors, and the staff of Studio 116 showed off their best moves in their own dances.

My favorite was the finale---where each dance group danced into the tune of "The Cup of Life" by Ricky Martin, using the steps of the particular dance type: Salsa, Bachata, Waltz, Tango, Rhumba, Hiphop.

If you're gonna ask how I did on the stage. . . uhm . . . I didn't miss any step. I tried my best to shake off my booty (even if mine is not really bootylicious). I smiled SUPER at the audience. Was a little nervous. Looked SEXY and DARING? Naah. Hehehehe. I felt like I was just one of the hiphop kids doing my thing for momma.

Hail to our instructor---Mitch Dizon; to the school owner---Ms. Emily Silva; to the other instructors; to the recitalists---to my new sexy friends; to the staff; to the families and friends who were there to support the event; and to all who appreciate dancing.

It seems like nobody's getting tired of dancing. Ms. Edna Ledesma, even with her super high-heeled shoes, manages to groove so gracefully.

After several songs, Sir Brando (or Brandon) raised a SanMig Light and invited the people to drink. That made me tell myself---Yes. We did it. Tonight, it's over, but we'll see you again in June.

I Don't Want to See Myself Singing this Song

2008-05-19T01:42:00.011+08:00

Forget About Me - Little Bit

For me, this song is for those who have lost hope. I have not. I wish I would not.

Really intended to write the lyrics in this way.

You said, it wasn't gonna be like it was before.Then it happened again. Pushing me back out the door.Thought it would be for real this time.Love me forget about the signs.So now what do i do? Now that I know that we're through. Wish that I could move on Can't let go, it's too strong Just like that and then you're gone Is this how you wanted it to be? Everything you had to say Sent the tears right down my face Now I'm trying to escape The misery Why don't you love me?The way I loved you It feels so crazy 'Coz I don't know what I did to you If you're gonna hurt me Then do it quickly 'Coz I'm tired of cryin' If you don't wanna stick around Then, baby forget about me. Too late, sorry. I didn't have the chance You said you were happy Baby, I don't understand Gave you everything you asked for And was ready to give you a lot more I would've given you the world Right in the palm of your hand. Wish that I could move on Can't let go, it's too strong Just like that and then you're gone Was this how you wanted it to be? Everything you had to say Sent the tears right down my face Now I'm trying to escape The misery Why don't you love me? The way I loved you It feels so crazy 'Coz I don't know what I did to you If you're gonna hurt me Then do it quickly 'Coz I'm tired of cryin' If you don't wanna stick around Then, baby forget about me.Boy, my heart was true And that you can't deny Don't be a fool And walk away from all the lies It's up to you 'Coz heaven knows I've tried Tell me you're still in love. Why don't you love me? The way I loved you It feels so crazy 'Coz I don't know what I did to you If you're gonna hurt me Then do it quickly 'Coz I'm tired of cryin 'If you don't wanna stick around Then, baby forget about me.Forget about meI really love you.

I'm already drowned in trigonometry here. Help!

Life is such a Chaos

2008-05-18T15:30:00.008+08:00

cha·os n.
1. A condition or place of great disorder or confusion.
2. A disorderly mass; a jumble: The desk was a chaos of papers and unopened letters.
3. often Chaos The disordered state of unformed matter and infinite space supposed in some cosmogonic views to have existed before the ordered universe.
4. Mathematics: A dynamical system that has a sensitive dependence on its initial conditions.
5. Obsolete An abyss; a chasm.

When we say life is chaotic, do we really mean that there's nothing beautiful in it?
disorder. . .
confustion . . .
jumble . . .
MAGULO.

Look at these images. They are called fractals---a mathematical chaos. Who will say that they are UGLY?

I will not go into the 'matematik' side, don't worry.

I just want to share that what keeps me going on despite of a chaotic life I have is the idea that like the fractals, I will find something GOOD not only in me, but also in the people around me, in the things I see, in the world I live in.

The chaos itself is wonderful. As the definition above says, a mathematical chaos depends on the initial conditions---doing something now will affect what you will be in the future. Hmmmm. It makes me more excited about what tomorrow would bring. It lets me choose to look at everything positively. It helps me feel that no matter how problematic my life is, it is still one beautiful creation of God.

Testimonials Make Me Cry

2008-05-14T01:20:00.002+08:00

IN FRONT OF MY PC, 1am: Browsing through the friendster testimonials of different persons in my life almost made me cry. I was just keeping myself awake while doing the powerpoint presentation for SEM's roundtable, when I suddenly thought of going through each comment/testimonial--from the latest to the very first one.

Well, I know that statements like those of Friendster Testi/Comments are ought to show the GOOD side of me. Overwhelming, the compliments are. But most of what I have read are sweet, kilig to the bones, and sincere (I think so!). Actually, receiving so many comments about me being "NGARAG" may not sound like a compliment, but it's OK. Because I admit it. Hehehe.

I feel happy to know that there are people who appreciate me even at my worst moods. Thank you, guys. Haha. Talking like a celebrity? But seriously, reading your testimonials lifts up my spirit. Huhuhu. Mushy mushy.

Got to end this. I still have one more topic to prepare.

Dreaming of a BIG-BIG-BIG family

2008-05-10T09:21:00.011+08:00

This morning, saw this news on Yahoo!.

I'm wondering if in the future, I would be like Michelle Duggar, who already have 17 kids--turning 18 next year. Having eight children is fine with me. As long as we (my future husband and I) can afford their needs and can be responsible and loving to them. Hmmmm. . . What if we extend the "EIGHT" to "EIGHT-EEN" ? Hahaha. Kaya ba Ming? =)

Michelle's only 41 and is looking as healthy as the young Duggars. They live well in a 7000-foot home in Arkansas. Each kid does his/her chores. The boys do the girls' tasks, and vice versa. All of the kids play piano and violin. Most of all, God rules their home. Sweeet.

Read more about the Duggar Family at Discovery Health Website.

College Girl Sings Math

2008-05-05T09:27:00.005+08:00

Here's an article that I wrote for my mag. I really find her song called "Horizontal Asymptote" cute. I can relate to it.

"Getting close to you. . .arbitrarily close to you, but no matter how close I go, (I think-this is me!) I'll never get to touch you, my horizontal asymptote."

DONNA requesting on the radio: I dedicate the song Horizontal Asymptote to my department-to-be. Will I ever get to touch you? Or should I just give you up and leave?

Click the link for the mp3 of Horizontal Asymptote.

The popular songs of our times are mostly about life experiences and relationship between people. Melodies at different genres sound good, as well as the lyrics of the songs which use simple languages and figures of speech—not as technical as those we learn in math or in science. But there’s one girl from the University of California-Berkeley, Nicole Campbell, who writes and sings songs using mathematical topics and terms, like angles and lines.

Nicole performed on the CAL Day celebration of her university last April, where she shared the beauty of music, mathematics, and science through her songs.

For the 20-year-old Biology major, there are a lot of things in life that can be described by math and science metaphors—concepts in Calculus and Physics to name a few. On the other hand, the best way to learn these subjects is to relate the topics to touchable things that people see everyday.

The talented Nicole started to write songs about math and science in her senior year in high school. She always asked her teachers to let her write songs about their class topic answering the homework itself. She is looking forward to becoming a teacher soon, and now that many and many are appreciating her music, Nicole hopes to write for every thing she teaches.

For those who are not familiar with horizontal asymptote:

A graph with a horizontal asymptote looks like this: The x-axis or the line y = 0 is the horizontal asymptote of the given curve.

Swimming into a New Life

2008-05-01T18:35:00.011+08:00

APRIL 26: All we wanted was to SWIM, RELAX, ENJOY, UNWIND. But the photo below shows what happened to us that afternoon.

SF's (Super Friends) summer outing. The Galera trip was cancelled last April 5, 6, 7 because I was sick. So we decided to move the outing and rent the clubhouse at Peter's village in QC instead. But Peter was getting ready for his "sign off" as one of Diwa's managers so he could not really work on it. Finally, we ended up going to Josephine's Water Camp in Kawit, Cavite.

Saturday came, April 26. Only Gerard, Gracie, and I went on with the plan. Gerard brought her 2-year old baby, Sofia. Gracie was with Mark, his fiance, and EJ, her cousin who just came from Laoag. I came with my sisters, Ness and Paui. From DIWA office, our convoy (Gracie, Mark, and EJ in Gracie's car; Gerard, Sofia, I and my two sisters in Gerard's car) traveled all the way to Cavite. We met Ness and Paui at SM Bacoor because they still came from our home.

Jinks number 1: We're in Binakayan, Kawit, when we asked a manong which way is to Cavite City. He said "Kanan (right)". So we turned right and saw Island Cove along the way. But then, after following the road, we found ourselves in Binakayan again! Hay! Si Manong talaga.

So this time we went straight and asked some more manongs, then finally saw signages pointing the way to Josephine's. We reached that UNFORGETTABLE intersection, with JOSEPHINE's big sign there.

Jinks number 2:We turned left and saw the parking area. But even before we found a parking space, the guard signaled--he's turning us away! Then he went to us and said, "Ma'am, Sir, di na po kayo pwede. Closed na po. Masyado na pong maraming tao (You cannot enter the resort. We're already closed. There's too much people inside.)" He told us that there were no cottages available and the pools were overloaded. Really? Maybe yes. But we wished they had let us in so we could convince ourselves that we should find our fate in other resorts.

It was our first time to see a resort stopping people from entering their place. Haha. Weird. Tinalo pa sila ng mga fastfood restaurants na kahit umaapaw na sa tao, pinapapasok pa rin ang mga tao. We really got pissed off. So we had a very short meeting at the parking lot and decided to move to Island Cove.

Jinks number 3-THE MAIN JINK: We went back to the intersection, but Gerard was hesitating to pass through the same road again. Medyo traffic kasi. We saw two men waiting at the corner of that intersection, so we asked them if there's an alternate route to Island Cove. But they were no help. THE MOMENT CAME. Gerard released the hand break. When we looked at the right, and, "TRUCK!!!" He stepped on the break again but it was too late. Boooooom.

Yes. Gerard's car was hit by the approaching truck. We almost got under it, but thanks to Gerard he was able to hold the break again. Thanks to the truck driver because he stopped right away after realizing that their truck hit us. Whew. Because if not, we might still be in the hospital and I might not be able to write this entry.

The next scene was like this: Ness and Paui holding Sophia, Gracie taking pictures (the pic above was from her), Gerard repeatedly saying, "malas naman oh. . . ", Mark assisting Gerard, and I---just looking at the disastered car, speechless. Thanks again to the truck persons because they did not nag at us. They too, seemed shocked. Sadly, Gerard admitted right away that it was his mistake. Whoever made the mistake---we could not turn back time.

Just like any other road accident, a police officer came, sketching and taking pictures of the scene, interrogating the drivers, and calling for back up. The drivers had to go to the police station to settle the case. How about us?

Hay. We stayed inside Gracie's car and waited for the wrecker. Yes. Gerard's car couldn't make it to their house so it had to be towed. When the wrecker arrived, we headed straight to Gerard's house in Imus. I felt nervous when we reached the gate of the village. How will we tell Gerard's family about it? How will they react?

Few blocks before Gerard's house, I saw Tita, Sofia's yaya, chatting with some neighbors. My fault that I didn't go down to tell her what happened before she sees the car. At yun nga. She saw the wrecker and panicked. When I went to her, she welcomed me with a worried cry, "Ano'ng nangyari? Si Pia?" Sofia was sleeping inside the car. I told her she's okay. and Gerard is still at the police station.

Gracie went with me to face Gerard's dad. He got angry. (malamang!) But he did not blame us or what. He was just an angry, worried dad and lolo. Whew.

To cut the story short, our swimming day turned to be a simple salu-salo at Gerard's house--with Andok's chicken that was supposed to be our baon. We recalled the scenes, and laughed at ourselves---happy enough that we are still alive.

Yes. I'm still alive. The one who's writing this entry is not yet a ghost. Hehehe.

Everything that happened only sinked in to me the day after that incident. For two or three days, I became totally clouded by the thought that we almost lost our lives. But I'm ok now.

Thank you, God. Gerard can still celebrate his birthday on Sunday. And he's still able to welcome his wife who I think already arrived from Kuwait. And he's still with his cute daughter.

Most of all, the Layco's tatlong maria are still here, ramping their beauties. Hehehe.

Ming-Chik Game: Sudoku Over the Phone

2008-04-24T20:14:00.009+08:00

Hahaha! I think we're getting more and more weird as days pass by! Yesterday afternoon, JR asked me about Sudoku techniques--how to start, how to eliminate the possibilities for each square, etc. I thought it was just a sudden "ding!" in his mind that he's playing Sudoku again.

The first time I showed him the puzzle, he gave up. But now he's trying to master it! Goodluck! Hehehe. Peace.

Then when it was already our "telebabad session", he asked me to help him solve the puzzle he got from a newspaper. Duh?! Over the phone?! Again?

So I grabbed the old SUMS-UP Logbook and Paui's pen, and wrote down the numbers as he dictated them.

That's it. I explained every step I made. I was almost shouting the numbers so he could really understand me. After about an hour with a number of REDIALS (because SUN Cellular cuts the line every 20 or 24 minutes of conversation), WE'RE DONE!

Sayang. I should have posted my scratch paper, but I'm camera-less right now. JR made this using MS Excel:

Puzzle 1:

Just this morning, we solved another puzzle, an easy one. This is from the Sudoku software in my PC at the office.

Puzzle 2:

Then I dared him, every Sudoku puzzle that we complete would be equal to one date! Hehehe.

More Sudoku puzzles, more Love!

My Compose Mode and Editor Toolbars are Missing

2008-04-24T09:02:00.002+08:00

I could not update my blog. waaaah.

---Weird, it only works here at home. hay!

Our Prayer

2008-04-18T09:37:00.002+08:00

glitter-graphics.com

Dear God,

Thank you for this day! Thank you for giving us another chance to experience life.
Thank you for blessing us with people who always make our morning bright; for letting us have someone (each other) to greet us "Good morning! I love you!"; for making us feel loved from the time we wake up 'til we go to sleep.

Lord, we also thank You for guiding our paths. There are times when we are distracted by misleading thoughts, ideas, and happenings, but thanks to You because you help us keep going on.

Sorry for the wrong things we've done--to You, to each other, to other people, and to ourselves. During those times, we forget what we're here for, and what you want us to be---good, loving, and respectful persons.

Sorry for the times that we disregard You as our Lord, when we do not consider You to be more powerful than any of us, and when we deny that our lives here on Earth are not ours, but Yours.

God, we ask You to continuously help us nourish our love for each other, so that our relationship will be like a tree that drops the dried leaves and gives birth to green, healthy leaves. Please give us strength to face all the trials that we will encounter on the following days. Please help us to think right, love right, act right--in Your standards.

Please also guard and bless our family, dearest friends, and even our acquaintances. Making them feel happy and well are part of our mission, so even just in prayers, we want to extend our love for them.

Please bless the people we don't know--the sick, the weary, the hungry, and the confused. If it is Your will that we may serve as their guardian angels, we would love to accept that task. In this way, we would be able to bring back the love You are giving us.

You are the only one that we praise, O God. We are together for the Love of You.

We pray for all of these through the name of your holy Son Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and Mama Mary . . .

Amen. We Love You!

Gitara

2008-04-08T08:12:00.004+08:00

In times like this, my best buddy besides Him is my guitar. But it's gone. Too bad I haven't bought a new one yet. I need a guitar! I need to play songs to take out the heavy load that my heart is carrying right now. Paui, lend me your guitar later. Please.

Missing the days that I play songs of The Corrs. . .

get your own mp3 music codes at www.mp3-aja.com

I've seen this place a thousand times
I've felt this all before
And every time you call
I've waited there as though you might not call at all
I know this face I'm wearing now
I've seen this in my eyes
And though it feels so great, I'm still afraid
That you'll be leaving anytime

We've done this once and then you closed the door
Don't let me fall again for nothing more

Don't say you love me unless forever
Don't tell me you need me, if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling, I'll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away

I've caught myself smiling alone
Just thinking of your voice
And dreaming of your touch, is all too much
You know I don't have any choice

Don't say you love me unless forever
Don't tell me you need me, if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling, I'll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away

Yeah Yeah Yeah
We've done this once and then you closed the door
Don't let me fall again for nothing more

Don't say you love me unless forever
Don't tell me you need me, if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling, I'll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away

Say you love me
Don't tell me you need me, if you're not gonna stay
Don't give me this feeling, I'll only believe it
Make it real or take it all away
Take it all away, take it all away

Bora Trip Number 2-Day 1:Getting Away from the City

2008-04-05T15:10:00.008+08:00

My second Bora trip was supposed to be a birthday surprise for JR. I already got tickets to Kalibo for me and Tito Mey, but three weeks before March 14, JR learned about it. Okay lang. If he had not had any idea that we were coming, our vacation would have been a disaster.

JR immediately reserved a room at the Loft room of their project, Alta Vista de Boracay, while I tried to finish all my articles for submission so I would not hear any violent reaction from my boss.

The night before March 14 came and I haven't prepared my things yet. I reviewed Issa for her exams until Tuesday of that week. I was so busy with work--my brain had stopped functioning but there are several articles left for me to write.

My First Flight (March 14, Friday)

Morning. I hit the "submit" button for the last set of articles. Rushing, I went back to our home, fixed my things, changed my clothes and said "babye" to my lola and sisters. Hehehe. This is it! I'm on my way to Bora!

I had been feeling very exhausted with all the work that I do---edit and write on weekdays, then tutor students during nights and weekends. Hayyy! Why do I have to go through all these tiring activities? Yet my savings account is almost always empty! Darn. I think I spend too much. Well, this is just for now. I'm happy with my life anyway. I can now afford my own vacation (a part of it at least! hehehe).

The trip was like a date with JR's dad, Tito Mey. Haha. It was him and me the whole trip. We met in Casimiro at lunch time, and took a taxi to the NAIA Centennial Airport. At last! I'm gonna ride an airplane! So we went through the counters and scanning terminals, and waited for our boarding time: 2:30. Also bought brazo de mercedes from Goldilocks--pasalubong for JR. Then we saw Janno Gibbs walking around there. Wala lang. I even had a short conversation with a senior citizen who was with her sick husband (I knew that he's sick, because he's on a wheelchair).

2:40 pm: it's time to board the plane! I was nearly losing the grip of my smile because of excitement. But I didn't want to look ignorant so I tried my best to calm down. We passed through the long tube with the door of the plane on the end. Yeah! The PAL flight attendants welcomed us with their sweet hellos. And when I finally saw the plane's interior. . . Wow. With the cold fog-like smoke coming out from the sides, and the unique smell of the seats, I felt like I was on my way to heaven! hehehe.

We had our seats, fasten our seatbelts, and watched the safety instruction video.

Finally, after experiencing a 20-minute traffic on the runway, flight PAL 325 to Kalibo took off. I was on the clouds! It's just sad that I wasn't able to take pictures. Huhuhu. I didn't bring my jurassic digicam and even Nanay's film-based cam. What I only had with me was the underwater cam that I bought on thursday night. I couldn't even rely on my super old phone. Hay!!!!

After a while, the attendants gave us drinks and snacks. Yummy chocolate mallow pie. Hehehe. Saved the Nutrilicious orange juice pack until I got home... But I think I threw it when I took it out from my bag and told myself I'm going to wash it. Hay!

Then I went to the plane's toilet. Cool! There are ice tubes on the small sink. What are those for? It's also weird that I was swaying while I was sitting on the bowl. haha!

I spent the 20-minute flight chatting with my future in-law. hehehe. He talked about how grateful he is that his son is now an engineer, and that his son is bringing him to the famous Boracay. Sweet...

I haven't finished sipping my Nutrilicious drink when the attendant announced our landing at Kalibo Airport. Few more minutes passed by, the wheels of our aircraft touched the ground, and the plane slowed down as it went straight through the runway. We're now in Kalibo!

Still, no pictures. Hmp. When we entered the hall, men in yellow welcomed us. They are the Kalibo men asking us if we already have our service van to Caticlan. After getting my bag, the guy whom we've talked to assisted us to our van.

Yayks! Both Tito Mey and I are becoming impatient. Whoah! Another 60++ kilometers?! Good thing Tito Mey's on the mood to tell his stories. As the green fields and mountains of Aklan amazed our eyes, Tito Mey remembered his childhood days in Quezon province. After an hour, we saw ourselves passing through the zigzag road whose side is a thin shoreline. We already see the SEA! Twenty to thirty more minutes, we reached Caticlan Jetty Port.

The second trip was not as long as my first trip where we took RORO going to Caticlan. Our travel took only three hours, plus two hours wait at the airport. I knew Tito Mey was so excited to see Bora, so I hurriedly led him to the jetty. The sun's setting already. .. Hay! Gabi na!

Our travel by water took around 15 minutes...Yes! At last! We're in Boracay! But we're not yet at where we're supposed to go. So we took another 10 to 15 minutes tricycle ride to Barangay Balabag. We stopped at the Balabag Church (Holy Rosary Parish, I think). And there, a Tito Mey look-alike guy was standing, waiting for something . . . The BiRthday Celebrant! Hehehe.

JR and his officemates have a new staffhouse. This time, a little far from the beach front. They occupy the whole second floor of a two-storey house--with four (or three only?) bedrooms, two toilets, two bathrooms, and a kitchen/dining/living room! Complete! We dropped our things in one of the bedrooms--their guest room, and headed off to Talipapa to buy lechon manok and beer for his birthday party. Thanks to Kuya Manny aka Bacalso for driving for us!

It was past 8 pm and I was so hungry because I only ate Kariman from Mini Stop for my lunch. Some of JR's visitors already started eating, so I wasted no time--I grabbed a plate, got some pansit, lechon manok, barbeque, and rellenong bangus! Yum! Hehehe.

Had one San Mig Light. That's enough. Party's Over. Day 1's done. Time to sleep.

Having a Bad Day

2008-03-28T17:15:00.002+08:00

This is cute! hehehehe.
The rodents' cute voices caught my attention this morning. They're like little angels, saying, "Hey, stressed? Here, we're gonna sing you a song!" I really don't know what's going on with me. Maybe it's just hypersensitivity brought by my red alert. OR my cough+cold that makes me feel like I'm dying. Hay. I'm lost.

Bad Day

get your own mp3 music codes at www.mp3-aja.com
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oooh.. a holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

New Speaker of the House at Starbucks Greenbelt

2008-02-27T16:41:00.004+08:00

Madalas akong maintriga sa tuwing may nakakasalubong akong VIP convoy. Sino kaya ang nasa loob ng itim na sasakyan? Kapag sobrang dami ng mga nakabuntot na kotse ng body guards, ah, si GMA yon. Kapag hindi, maaaring kongresman, mayor, senador, city councilor, baranggay kagawad?! Kaya pipilitin kong tignan ang plaka ng sasakyan. Titignan kung 8, 2, ano pa ba? 8 lang ang madalas kong makita. Ang yayabang kasi nila kaya palagi silang kung saan-saan pumupunta. Hehehe.

Kaninang tanghalian, patawid kami sa Paseo de Roxas papuntang Greenbelt, nang may paparating na convoy ng VIP. Aha! Sino kaya ito? Pero dinedma lang namin ng mga kasama ko. Ang alam lang namin, kongresman ang nakasakay. Kasi "8" ang plaka sa likuran ng Ford Expedition na itim.

Pagkatawid namin sa kabilang kalsada, biglang tumigil ang convoy, at isa-isang lumabas ang mga mamang nakaputing polo barong na may dala-dalang walkie-talkie. Nawindang kami nang ilang sandali. Para kasing kami ang susugurin. Pumasok ang ilan sa kanila sa may Pancake House, tapos lumabas ulit upang antayin ang pagbaba ng nasa nangingintab na sasakyan.

Hanggang sa . . . bumaba ang isang lalaking nasa 50s, naka-pink na long sleeves at nakakurbata. Aba, ang bagong speaker of the house - Si Congressman Prospero Nograles. May kausap siya sa kanyang cell phone habang naglalakad papunta sa isa sa mga upuan sa labas ng Starbucks Coffee sa kantong iyon. Naisip kong bigla kung gaano katunog ang pangalan niya ngayon-- Siya ang pumalit sa pinatalsik na si JDV. Anu-ano na kaya ang nagawa niya bilang mambabatas? Ilang taon na siya sa pwesto? Bakit siya ang napili para sa posisyong nasa kanya ngayon? Hmmmm. . . Bigla akong naging interesado sa kanyang pagkatao. Hanggang sa pumasok ako sa Greenbelt, iniisip ko kung ano kaya ang gagawin niya sa kapehang iyon, at kung ano ang mga plano nya sa pulitika sa mga darating na panahon.

Abangan . . .pag-aaralan ko ang taong ito. Medyo hindi na rin kasi ako maalam sa sitwasyon ng pulitika ngayon. Mas ninanais ko pa kasing mag-isip ng mga walang katuturang bagay kaysa problemahin si Lozada o si Nograles o si GMA. Pero dadating din ang panahong kikilos ako. . . malapit na.

The Wonder of Bato-Bato-Pick Over the Phone

2008-02-26T17:45:00.008+08:00

This is another doodle about love. Well. . .

Bato-bato pick is one of the most beloved games of Pinoy children. I was once an expert of it during my childhood days. But now, this simple one-on-one game made me see wonderful things about me and JR .

We had played bato-bato-pick even before he went away for his work. Now we could only play bato-bato-pick over the phone. Sounds weird? We've tried it, and it's fun.

The first time was when we had a fight. For him to forgive me, he challenged me to play bato-bato pick. The first one to get 10 points wins. If I win, I'm forgiven. So we played. As we went through the game, I noticed how his angry voice turned to cute laughs. He found it funny when I say "bato-bato-pickS". He gradually calmed down. His five straight scissors helped me win. Thanks, Ming!

The second game happened when I got mad because of his incurable sickness (you know what it is!). The bet was only up to 5 points. If he wins, he'll explain his side but I will not scold him. Otherwise, he has to be ready for my litanies. Again I won. Hmmmm. . . My powers are coming back! He had no choice but to explain what happened. He then listened to me as I spoke my heart out--though not hysterical enough to turn him down. I was hurt. But the wound healed after that bato-bato pick.

The third match was just yesterday. This time, it's like a matter of life and death for him. If he wins, we will end our telebabad session and he'll sleep. If I get the win again, he should tell me stories about. . .anything, about us. I have to mention that:we agreed that he should do it right after the bato-bato pick game. So we started. He was leading. It was 0-5 for him. Then I slowly got points, but he's still on the lead. My tears almost wanted to fall down from my eyes--as I felt I was going to lose. After a number of ties, I noticed that he was giving straight "papers." Why?! Oh, it might be his strategy. Or he just wanted me to win again. Until it became 9-all. I thought, I'd give a "stone/rock," so he would win. I did. But to my surprise. . . He gave a "scissor". I won the game! Really thankful that he did not let me cry.

But what really counts is not the number of wins and losses, but. . .

... the honesty in telling our real pick even if we do not see each other's hand;

... the fun of playing that melts our heart and takes away the hurt or anger within it;

... the idea of sacrificing our own win to give way to what the other wants;

... the thought of knowing that whoever wins, the other would still consider doing the consequence for you.

I find it really sweet. Now I know that playing bato bato pick is not just for kids.

Thanks to thethinkingblog.com for the image!

PiñAlicious

2008-02-21T13:42:00.008+08:00

Ngayon ko lang nalaman, mahirap palang magtalop ng pinya!

Hay!

Naubos lahat ng lakas ko sa pagtanggal ng matigas na balat nito.

Halos mamaltos ang mga daliri ko sa paghawak ng mapurol na kutsilyo.

Nagkadurug-durog ang laman nito habang tinatanggal ko ang mga mata.

Kumalat ang sabaw sa sangkalan. Wala na akong ibang magawa. . . Pero nang matapos ko naman, ang sarap! Hehehe.

My Long Distance Valentine

2008-02-15T12:11:00.004+08:00

We're islands apart. And there's no affordable way to see each other on Valentine's Day. It's a bit sad, frustrating, envying--while I see other girls carrying their bouquets and gifts, walking with their dates. I wonder if there are restos that offer virtual dinners, because I'll definitely reserve a slot. Just to have the chance to spend hearts day with him.

Well, I should still be happy. Because he pampered me almost the whole day, with his mushy and sweet words. It's enough for me to know that he also wanted to be with me. . . But he had to work hard . . . Not just for himself, but for us.

I got his flower gift this morning. Yes, it's one day late. Not his fault though. The package traveled all the way from Boracay. Hayy. . . these three lovely red roses and handwritten card. . . make me feel like he's just right beside me, giving me a warm hug and kiss. Yihee.

It's Fairster Day!

2008-02-11T16:24:00.004+08:00

We were mere playmates back in our childhood days. But we snubbed each other when people started to tease us. Then we became casual friends. And later on, became the best of friends. Now, he loves me with all his heart. And I do, too.

-------------
We are best friends, more than just lovers. For four years, we’ve struggled to make our relationship grow. And through all the ups and downs, we believe that we have already built a foundation, strong enough to hold on to each other—OUR FRIENDSHIP.

Young Love Pair
Eighteen years ago, we were only four years old. Our young minds were not yet aware of our future. I didn’t know that we would be boyfriend-girlfriend (or soon-to-be a. . . . hehehe.) All we knew was that we would see each other during summer and Christmas vacation. But I was closer to his ate then. That’s all. At this time, our first picture together was taken.

Then we became grade schoolers. His uncles, aunts, and grandparents, who happened to live just almost in front our home, started to tease us. So the Tonton and Madonna Love Team was launched! The “yihees” made us turn away from each other. But I thought, He’s cute! And without me knowing it before, he also thought, Her puffy and white cheeks are pretty!

Early Teenage Blues
High school came and we rarely glanced at each other. Then, one summer vacation, a neighbor brought the news—JR’s mother was rushed to the hospital, and JR, the ever-loving son, withdrew the money from his savings to pay the bill. I was touched. The more our neighbor talked about how intelligent, smart, and kind JR was, the more I was convinced that I liked him. Again, without me knowing it before, he also started to like me.

From then on, I waited for every vacation. I waited for every holiday. Just to see him. During summer, I went out every afternoon to do some sweeping and gardening. I was lucky if he passed by with his bike. That made each day complete. There were even times when I sat on our wall gate—a perfect place to spot him from his Lola’s yard. What I didn’t know before was that . . . he also looked forward to seeing me every vacation . . . that he rode his bike so he would have a reason to pass by our house, and he always stayed under the langka tree in the front yard just to see me!

JR and I were in third year high school when we got our very first cell phones.He became my virtual pal. I already had an idea that it was him but I didn’t realize it until the day he told me that it’s him. You could not blame me. Is “Tonton” close to “Meynard?” But as far as I could remember, he was the best textmate I ever had. We talked about school—our grades, our teachers, our activities; we talked about NatGeo and Discovery Channel shows—the cheetah, the tallest and biggest in the world, etc; and we shared our thoughts on different things. JR told me about his girlfriend that time. I’m just not that sure if I shared my stories about my former boyfriend who was still courting me then. We shared our dreams with each other—JR wanted to be a civil engineer to make buildings, and told me that he’d build my accounting office someday. He was also the one whom I leaned on to during the scariest nights of my life. At this point, I considered him as my friend. I knew I liked him (And he, too!), but only admiration and friendship were what we could only give each other.

Few months later, a tragedy came. He lost his mom. I could imagine how hard he cried. But I couldn’t do anything but send him and his siblings a letter. He also lost his cell phone during the wake. I thought that was the end of our story. We lost in touch.

Walking Away to Get Closer
After two years, I went to UP and studied college. In 2003, my mom decided to sell our house. We transferred to Las Pinas. Goodbye to all my childhood memories. But hopefully, I’d see Tonton again, I told myself. On the day that we left Laguna, JR’s dad was also on his way home. Then he rode with us in our service. Meaning, their house was just somewhere near LP. I thought again, he’s nearer to me now! But I didn’t have any idea where exactly he was. So I continued my life as if he was just part of my past.

Before the year ended, I was left heartbroken. I was alone. I fought to survive that first hit on me, until January of the following year came. I was browsing the then new Friendster when the name of his sister popped into my mind. I tried to look for his sister’s profile but I was not able to find it. After going through all my old friends’ names, I finally typed in JR’s name. Alas! There was his account, but I hesitated to add him. Does he still know me? Are we still friends? I worried. And many more what ifs ran through me. The next thing I knew, I had clicked on “Add as Friend”.

After two days, he was already on my friends’ list. And another friend—that happened to be JR’s another account, invited me. The funny thing was that he added me first before realizing I already gave an invite to his other account. Soul mates?

From then on, we exchanged emails and messages. He didn’t have a phone so there’s no other choice. Our endless stories filled our e-mail inbox. He shared how the death of his mom turned his life around. He confessed the wrong things that he had done in the past. He asked for my advice. Then I shared how my lost love was affecting me at that time. He also knew how frustrated I was because I was not taking the field that I wanted for my career. But then, how happy I was, my old friend Meynard came back. In one of his first emails, he mentioned that he was grateful, too—because he found a new Ate, after his sister settled down.

The Fairster Moment
It was the time of the week-long event in UP—the Fair. He told me he wanted to go there so we set one night—a Wednesday night. After almost three years, we would finally meet each other again. But the details were not set properly—our meeting place, our dress code, etc. We didn’t know what to expect. I was not sure if I still knew his face. So was he.

My friend and I were calmly sitting on the ground and watching the bands when we noticed a group of guys looking maliciously at us. So my friend grabbed my hand, stood up, and led me to . . . nowhere. Our only goal was to hide from the bad guys. We were roaming around the sound system at the middle of the green field of Sunken Garden when I suddenly stopped as I noticed two guys walking towards our way. The semilong-haired guy saw me, stopped walking, and closely looked at me. So I stared at him too. “Tonton?” “Donna?” It was him! Finally! And the most memorable night for the two of us was marked.

I was just trying to get over with my unsuccessful relationship, so I didn’t consciously think of JR as a potential boyfriend. For JR, we were just casual friends. But after that Fairster moment, he said he couldn’t help but think of me. (awww.)

Moving On
We continued to be very close friends. He said he found the best friend that he was looking for. We communicated every time we were not busy in school. He called me when he had extra coins. He borrowed phone from his board mates just to text me. We talked on YM while he was doing his projects on the net café. We saw each other on concerts and gigs. We spent evenings on Intramuros’ walls when we wanted to talk about serious things. And we shared cups of coffee in my house on early mornings. He had nothing else to offer me but his time, effort, and true friendship. No flowers, no chocolates, no gifts. But he did something great—he helped me get back to my self again.

I could not deny that I was always looking forward to our next meeting or conversation. Unconsciously, I was able to move on. My heart started to open its doors again. So I kept on praying to God for guidance. If what I’m feeling is really for JR, then please cleanse my heart; take away all the hurt and guilt; and prepare it for a new relationship.

Mission Accomplished
September came. It was my 19th birthday. Before, I would always expect big gifts. But when JR gave me a small Toblerone two days earlier, I felt completely happy. Simple joys, they say. His sincere “happy birthday” and sweet smile were already big for me.

Then I called my friends, including JR, for a party on October 2. Many of my high school friends came—especially those who were aware of what’s going on between me and JR. Haha! That moment was embarrassing—they were teasing JR the whole night! I could see how he tried to manage the situation. Fortunately he did.

It was 7am of October 3 when they went home. Hayy. I was blessed enough to have a wonderful celebration a year after my tragic birthday (because it was on my eighteenth birthday when my I experienced that heartbreak). I took a rest the whole day. It was a Sunday, so when afternoon came, we prepared to go to the chapel. But JR called, and told me he’d drop by. He said he wanted to show his newly bought shoes. After an hour, he arrived and proudly showed me the fruit of his hard work. Yes, he deserved a new pair of shoes since he became a scholar (a.k.a. dean’s list) for the past two terms. Together with my sisters, JR and I went to the chapel. Everything was normal until the peace-giving moment came. I was bowing my head to the person in front of me, at my right, at my back, and lastly to him. But guess what he did! He went close to my ear and whispered . . . I love you! My blood suddenly went up to my head. What?! I couldn’t say any other word. It took me minutes to absorb what he said. And then I turned my eyes to the altar, prayed again to God. This is it!

We went back to our house. JR handed me a nine-page letter so I went out to read it alone. There he narrated how it all started, how his love for me grew, and how he finally decided to go for it. For the nth time, I was deeply touched by JR. And I think, of all the letters that I had read, his was the most sincere.

I wanted everything to be settled in a nice way. So I told him to meet me at the Walls the following day. We did. After rushing a problem set for one of my major subjects, I hurriedly went to Intramuros to see him. I was haggard that time, but who cares?! We talked. One by one, I described to him how I felt during the past months.

Finally, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I didn’t know what exactly made me say yes. Maybe it was his smile; or his “bolero-yet-truthful” lines; or his straight-to-the-eye "mahal kita" punch; or maybe, simply the connection between us. And the story of Ming and Chik started to unfold.

------####------------

From then until now, it’s still US. We fight, we argue, we get angry. But more than the trials we’ve experienced, we have already collected good memories—which are not easy to put to waste.

I would never forget the last time we had a big misunderstanding, (just a few weeks back)—we agreed that we must not forget that we are best friends. “We’re a couple when we want sweet moments. But we’re best friends when we need to talk about our lives, as individuals.”

Happy Fairster Day Ming!

Mukmok

2008-01-31T15:16:00.001+08:00

"Huy, Ako! Anong ginagawa mo dyan?
Bakit ka nakatambay lang sa isang tabi, walang ginagawa?"

"Pagod na ako sa buhay ko. Paulit-ulit na lang. Napakabagal ng panahon. Wala nang nagbago."

"Sa tingin mo ba may magbabago kapag tumambay ka lang dyan? Tumayo ka nga. Ayusin mo ang buhay mo."

"Ilang beses na ba akong sumubok? Bumabalik din ako sa ibaba. Ayoko na talaga. Bahala na ang hangin sa'kin."

"Kaya ka bang dalhin ng hangin? At sa tingin mo ba, may kaginhawan sa dulo ng pagdadalhan sa iyo nito?"

"Hindi ko na rin naman alam kung saan ako patutungo. Mabuti nang huwag ko nang hawakan pa ang buhay ko. Wala rin namang mawawala."

"Mawawala? Kapag dinala ka ng hangin, magiging manhid ka sa lahat-->sa pagmamahal, sa kaligayahan, sa buhay. Lilipad kang parang isang butil ng buhanging sumasagi kung saan-saan ngunit di naman nararamdaman."

"E di maigi. Ano bang silbi ko rito? May katuwang ba ako sa mga paghihirap kong ito? Lalo lang akong masasaktan hanggat maghahangad ako sa mga bagay na iyan."

"Pero tao ka. Isinilang ka upang masaktan at lumigaya. Isipin mo ang mga panahong pinasaya ka ng mga taong mahalaga sa iyo. Alalahanin mo kung paano ka nila sinamahan tuwing ika'y nagtatagumpay, at kung paano naghilom ang sugat na kanilang dinulot sa tuwing kayo'y hindi nagkakaunawaan. Balikan mo ang mga panahong ibinahagi mo ang iyong ngiti at damdamin sa iba."

". . . Napasaya ko sila. Ngunit nasaktan din minsan. Isang bagay lang ang alam ko. Hindi ako pumayag na sila'y lumayo. Dahil sa kanila, kaya ako lumalaban at patuloy na nabubuhay sa mundo."

"Sakto. Darating ang panahon at maiisip mo uli ang kawalang kwenta ng iyong sitwasyon. Siguro'y sapat nang bigyan mo ang sarili mo ng ilang minuto, oras, o araw, upang muling pagmuni-munihan ang mga bagay. Babalik muli ang iyong kasiglahan. Huwag kang susuko."

"Salamat. Babalik na 'ko sa trabaho."

Sagada Loka!

2008-01-12T22:01:00.002+08:00

This was one of the best trips I ever had. The caves, mountainsides, pine trees, hanging coffins, . . . exciting! A great Christmas gift for myself and for Ness. Sayang nga lang kasi hindi nakasama si JR. Pagbalik ko run, di pwedeng hindi na sya kasama. hehehe.
Let the photos tell our story. (from Kuya Benny's cam, di ko pa tapos yung captions!)

Jollibee para kay Papa at Mama

2007-12-18T10:50:00.001+08:00

Noong biyernes, nagbigay ng Christmas party ang kompanya para sa mga elementary students ng isa sa mga public school sa Tanauan. Ako ang naghost. Nakakapagod. Pakiramdam ko'y unti-unting naubos ang boses ko kakasigaw. Masaya. Nakakaaliw. Masunurin ang mga bata. Mababait. Tuwang-tuwa sila habang nagpapalaro si Jollibee. Ang mga bata talaga. . .

Halata sa mga batang hindi sanay makakita at makaranas ng party ni Jollibee. Hindi tulad ko ngayon, halos araw-araw kay Jollibee. Ang iba sa kanila ay may maayos na uniform--polo/blaws, pantalon/palda, at sapatos. Pero ang iba . . . nakatsinelas lang at naninilaw nilaw na ang mga dapat ay puting damit. Pero hindi alintala ng mga bata anuman ang suot nila. Ang mahalaga lang noong araw na iyon---pagsasaya.

Hanggang sa dumating na ang merienda. Regular yum, peach mango pie, at tetra pack na juice. Bumaba muna ako sa stage upang tumulong sa pamimigay ng pagkain. Ang nakatoka sa aming grupo--kinder. Isa-isa ko silang nilapitan upang lagyan ng straw ang kanilang mga juice. Mahihina pa sila upang gawin iyon nang mag-isa. Hanggang sa may isang batang babaeng kumausap sa akin. Di ko na maalala kung tinanong niya ang pangalan ko o ang pinanggalingan ko. Basta ngumiti siya na parang lubos ang pasasalamat.

Maya-maya'y halos tapos na ang lahat kumain. Napatingin ako sa batang iyon dahil halos mahulog na ang kanyang dala-dala. Hindi nya binuksan ang burger at pie na binigay sa kanya. Nang inalalayan ko siya at tinanong kung bakit hindi nya kinain. . . mabilis siyang sumagot ng, "Di ko na lang to kakainin. Uuwi ko nalang kay mama at papa ko."

Biglang tumaas ang dugo ko pagkaranig ng linyang iyon. Isang musmos, na dapat ay paglalaro at kasiyahan lamang ang iniisip, ay inalala ang kanyang mga magulang. Wala na akong ibang nasabi noon. Binigyan ko na lang siya ng isang ngiting ipinaparating ang aking paghanga at pagkatuwa sa kanyang sinabi.

BLooPeR of the Day: Tulog-mantika

2007-12-11T13:37:00.001+08:00

I haven't had enough sleep since last thursday. I'm so tired that I grab every chance to take a nap--be it in a bus, in a shuttle, wherever.

This morning, I took a bus going to my office. I got a place in the corner of the backseat (the six-seater). The chair was a little high, so it was hard for me to set myself to a stable position. Still, I managed to give me a good sit. I waited for JR's call (who also woke up late and hurried to his office) until I realized that my eyes were slowly closing, getting ready for an out-of-this-world journey.

And I fell asleep. I woke up two or three times--before the expressway, after the expressway, and . . . at VITO CRUZ! Oh no. I should have get off at Leveriza--two stops before vito cruz. I also found myself alone at the backseat! I thought I was at the bus terminal already.

Hay. This is probably what one gets from overworking. . .

I need a break. I want to sleep. Will that be tomorrow? Hopefully.

Living is Fun

2007-12-04T14:20:00.001+08:00

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.
Agatha Christie
(1890-1976)

Bad Day

2007-12-04T13:02:00.001+08:00

I've cried enough. That's it. I can't spread my wings 'til April.
Ok then. At least I know that I have the potential...but still too young to be at the top.

Hay. . .

I realized, yesterday was such a bad day...

Good thing there's JR who calmly listened to me. Thanks for his effortless jokes. They really made me smile.

A Nonsense Doodle

2007-12-03T15:44:00.001+08:00

I really don't know what mood I'm into right now. I want to work but I cannot focus. I'm getting pissed off with my writers' errors! I am tired but I haven't done much work today. I want to go home. I want to give myself a rest. I want to sit on our new sofa. I want to continue my artworks--to be in time for Christmas. I feel good that there's not much pressure. I feel bad because someone is disturbed by her highness. I feel guilty. And this LBM attack because of Starbucks Praline Mocha that I bought this morning--Argh! I want to do other things. I want to go to the beach. I am bored. But I am excited because on Friday, we'll go to Rizal for Team building. I want to talk to my friends. I miss talking about their love problems. I want to go to church and pray all day. I enjoy seeing people but I want to isolate myself for a while. I want to call JR. But he's busy. I feel like I'm having wrinkles. I am proud of myself. But I feel like I'm not a good and effective teacher. I want to help people. How?

I'm a person with no focus. I am impatient. I'm near to NOTHING. I'm a NOBODY. Yet I know God has made me to be SOMEBODY.

Mixed Emotions

2007-11-28T23:55:00.000+08:00

I'm happy but I'm sad.
I'm excited but I'm scared.
I want it but I can't take it.
I'm proud but I'm affected.
I have the proof but I counteer it.
I know I'm strong but I feel weak.

growth

2007-11-17T11:40:00.001+08:00

Yep. I want growth.

http://www.glitter-graphics.com

PHOTO SLIDESHOW: My First Trip to Bora

2007-11-14T12:54:00.003+08:00

Thanks to Rockyou!

Bora Here I Come!

2007-10-31T15:45:00.001+08:00

Yihee! We are going to Bora later. Yeba.

Now I Know

2007-10-26T10:33:00.001+08:00

glitter-graphics.com There are things that I am afraid to admit. There are times when I'm scared to know that something is indeed the truth.

Now face to face I am told. . . that I haven't done enough. . . that I do not deserve what I expect to get. . . that my doubts are not just doubts. . . that I haven't given my best.

I am not a good communicator. Not a good listener. Not a lively 'talker'. Not a. . .

On Coming Home-Day 1

2007-10-22T08:36:00.004+08:00

This post is already late. Kasi naman ang tagal iupload ni JR ang pics. Hehehe. But then.

Every time I look back to what happenned in JR's four-day vacation last week, I can't help but smile. Hahaha.

After six months of waiting, he finally came home. Yiheee. . .

FRIDAY SUPERDAY

I was supposed to meet him in Alabang at 6am (October 12, 2007). But I went to Zirkoh Greenhills (with my DIWA friends)the night before (October 11, 2007) to avail the free passes that my Nanay's friend gave me. Di ko kinaya. I slept at 3.45am, so when JR called at around six, telling that he's already in SLEX, I requested him to just come to our house and eat breakfast with my family (as if we're having a real breakfast).

I quickly got up from my bed and told Nanay that JR was on his way. To my surprise, Nanay moved like a VIP's coming. Hehehe. Para siyang nabuhusan ng tubig kaya biglang napatayo.

I daydreamed while I was preparing myself for JR's 'homecoming'. How will I welcome him? Di pwede ang "kiss sabay hug"kasi andun si Nanay. Hay. I was really excited.

At dumating na nga si Ming. Hehehe. Parang nanggaling lang siya sa bahay nila. I gave him a 'five' like when we were just friends. And I stared at him to know if his face has changed. Uhm. . . negro! =) Pero ang bigote, balbas, at buhok na magulo, yun pa rin. His smile is still the same. Sweet. At isa na pala siyang sexyback!(I only realized this when Ken noticed his thighs, butt, and belly.)

After almost an hour of chikahan, we went to their house. His Papa and brother Ken were surprised. Nagkakadkad pa ng niyog si Tito nun nang nilapitan siya ni JR at nagpapalit ng dalawang libo. Hehe.

I felt how JR's home missed 'Kuya'. Yup we missed him.

Then, one by one, JR looked at the things that he left six months ago. . . The ceiling is repaired. They have a new dog--a lab retriever, Bruce. Their other dog, Trixie, has new set of puppies. His room has a new PC. He's like a boss inspecting his project.

He played basketball with Ken. We had lunch together. He told his Bora stories. We had ziesta. Then we went to his sister Lhen's house which was in the nearby subdivision. We played with his 'pamangkins'. What a day.

And for the final activity, we went to SM with his Papa and Ken. Kasi nagparinig si Tito, saan daw kami. I felt that he wanted to go out and bond with his son. So sabi ko kay JR, ilabas naman niya ang Papa nya. Yun.

Nakakapagod lang maglakad at tumayo. Hehe. Pero masaya pa rin. yihee.

Not Too Young But Not Too Old

2007-10-11T13:16:00.002+08:00

I cannot convince myself to feel good when my Nanay nags at me, saying that I shouldn't take love life seriously; that I should enjoy my life as a single lady; that I should focus first on my career--take MS (and all the programs available in the world!); that I should COLLECTand COLLECT before I select.

I know that she's getting all those litanies from her experience. And, MOM KNOWS BEST daw di ba? But Nanay, am I not old enough to choose for myself? Until when do I need to meet your expectations?

Before JR left for Bora, we had a heart-to-heart talk. I told him that I want to find my IDENTITY. I want to do things that would make me happy and would fulfill me, not just the things that would make OTHERS proud of me. I told him I was tired of maintaining the image of a genius, career-oriented girl.

Arrggh.Then the other day, Nanay said that when JR comes home, I must bring my sister with us wherever we go. It's a crazy joke. I know it's a semi-serious joke. Chaperone at 22?!

Hayy. Lines from Nanay are always bothering. Ayoko nang isipin palagi. Mababaliw lang ako. I will just consider them when I have to make decisions. Yes I can decide for myself. I'm too old to be controlled by others. But too young to be left alone.

Three Years

2007-10-05T09:14:00.001+08:00

Happy Anniversary to us! But JR's not here to celebrate this special day with me. Hay. Please come home.

Five Hundred Twenty-five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes. . .

2007-10-04T15:42:00.001+08:00

I'm having a "Last Song Syndrome." I don't know if it's because of the song's melody, the message, or the. . . numbers in the lyrics? Hehehe.

SEASONS OF LOVE
525,600 minutes
525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.
Seasons of love. . .

525,600 minutes
525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes
How can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.

It’s time now to sing out,
Though the story never ends
Let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love! Remember the love!
Remember the love! Measure in love.
Seasons of love! Seasons of love.

What Made My Birthday Special

2007-10-03T08:28:00.001+08:00

The FOOD
I've always had a party since my 1st birthday (onti lang ang miss). Days before the 27th, I told myself that this year, I'm just gonna celebrate solemnly--with my family lang siguro, and with JR (since he's not here, sa phone na lang.hehe.) But I still felt I'd miss something kapag hindi ko nakita yung mga kaibigan kong enjoy at busog. :) So yun. Kulang pa nga for my school friends. Thanks to Kuya Nino for the pansit. Thanks to my officemates who contributed in the "bente-bente". Thanks to Issa and her family. Thanks to Nanay.
OFFICE: 2 medium-sized bilaong pansit (canton at bihon), 1 bilaong puto-biñan,"piolo" ice cream, softdrinks, and chips.
ACENAS' HOUSE: 2 small bilaong pansit (bihon at miki), bbq

HOME: Jollibee (hehehe)

The Gifts

At 5:30am, Nanay gave me two wrapped gifts: a set of paintbrush and a Pooh mini-drawer. Naaliw ako sa pag-assemble nung cute mini-drawer. Buti hindi ako na-late. Hehehe. And the brushes. . . yehey! Won't be using the super old ones--na kailangan ko pang ibabad nang isang buwan sa kerosene just to soften the bristles. Nung lunch, may pahabol pang bag. :)

Then sa office, I received a Starbucks tumbler from Kuya Bennie. Hihihi.

Issa's family then gave me a Red Ribbon Choco cake---na dahil sa layo ng biyahe ko from their house in Delta, QC to Las Piñas, di ko na nabasa yung message nila sa top.

The next day, Kim and Gemz gave me a toy/doll/keychain Patrick (friend of Spongebob). Ang cute! My sister Paui also gave me a choker/necklace. Will post its photo next time.

Kahapon, humabol si Gracie (& family)--organic soap for skin whitening! hehe.

The Greetings

Thanks to all those who greeted me, from Sept 25 ata yun til last Sunday (Sept 30!). It really feels good to know that you remember me on my birthday. Lalo na if those people are quite far away from me... awww.

Ang Pagbabalik

2007-10-02T08:49:00.001+08:00

Kahapon,binalikan ko ang naging pangalawang tahanan ko nang apat na taon. Inakyat kong muli ang matarik na daan papasok sa gate at papunta sa main building. Nakihalo muli ako sa mga estudyanteng nakapaldang berde. Dinayo ko ang mga tambayan namin noon ng aking mga kaibigan---ang groto, batibot, at kantin. Nakakatuwang makitang lalo pa siyang gumaganda. Ang ibang bahagi'y mas luma na ngunit nasasapawan ito ng mga bagong naroon.

Napakasarap alalahanin ang mga kulitan ng aking mga kaklase (hindi man ako madalas kasama sa mga nakikipagkulitan sa kanila); ang pagpapagabi namin sa classroom para tapusin ang mga proyekto; ang mga kalokohang ginawa namin sa aming mga guro; ang mga araw na kami'y naglilinis ng maigi sa aming kwarto; at ang samahang nabuo na hindi nagpatinag sa mga taong nais manira.

Ipinagmamalaki ko ring isa akong "batang bilibid" sa loob ng maikling panahon. Nakita ko ang mga kabataang nasa iba't-ibang antas ng buhay--mula sa pinakamayayaman hanggang sa mga pinakamahihirap. Natutunan ko ang agos ng buhay. Naramdaman ko rin ang saloobin ng mga presong nakikita ko tuwing umaga habang nagtatanim sa paligid. Naging mas handa ako sa mga darating na pangyayari.

Hay. Parang gusto kong maging hayskul ulit.

Blogging at 22

2007-09-27T08:50:00.000+08:00

Yehey. Today I'm 22. Today I launch my weblog. Today I start sharing my thoughts. Today is . . .

As what I have said in my friendster blog, what I wanted was a personal website. But then it would take me a lot of time and effort to make one. It's also more formal than blog. It wouldn't be cute if I'd use taglish. So I thought, magtiyaga na lang muna ako rito. Hehehe.

They said blogging could help release a little tension, stress, and tiredness. Oo nga. Endless writing, editing, and proofreading (plus the overflowing algeb, geom, and trigo stuffs!) are really draining. I enjoy what I do. But just like any other normal being, I also need to take some rest once in a while.

But I am not yet sure how this blog would affect me bilang isang nilalang na kabilang sa lipunan.wahahaha.

Possible Outcome #1: People (only those who care) would understand me more. They would know why I think this way. They would understand why I'm weird--- I see things in a different way; I have my own set of principles which is kinda "out of this world." Hehe. Ewan ko. Basta ganun.

Possible Outcome #2: People would be more confused with what I really am. Opinions in total contrast; strong yet weak; etc, etc. Scientifically speaking, these are all because of my brain's left and right lobes working at the same time.

Well, nandito na rin lamang ako. Ituloy na natin. :)